somehow it seems that my life is stuck in the middle of everything ya?
don't really know how to pin it down into words.
but these few day been meeting up with some good old friends of mine.
talking about futures.
then we started recalling back.
had a hard laugh on ourself.
last time when we were young our topic will always be , whr wil we be going to play.
who we going to meet all these stuffs.
so carefree.
but these past few yrs had changed, we started talking about jobs, pays , studies and future. =/
we are all ageing fast. growing up fast.
a few yrs down the road and some of us wil become the breadwinner of the house,
get married have kids all these stuffs.
i do really miss childhood life ya?
i mean who don't?!
slowly slowly, we are all growing up, becoming more mature (hopefully?)
gotta to learn and accept even though this has always been part of life.
seriously i need get settle down with my studies.
bang wall sia!
faster make up my mind la! ><><~ alright alright, no more dream, im nt allow to dream so high so far. be more practical! =D cont with my tourism/hotel degree! =) this should be the way ba. get it done and over! i can do it! yes i can! ( i guess so?) LOL oh crap! its raining..... slpy..... hmmm not slpy ba.. just nua nua le. =p wad will be will be. wad nv will be will nv be. everything happens for a reason..
meiping || 2:54 PM

i look up,
the summer air breezing against me
and see the stars,
the stellar sky.
it reminds me of a past
that never was truly mine.

some pursue happiness,
others create it.

The sooner you know
who you are and what you want,
the less you'll let things upset you.

Don`t ever let anyone tell you that you can`t do something,
especially yourself,
if you tell yourself that you can`t do it,
you never will be able to.
But as long as you,
in your heart,
believe that anything is possible,
your boundaries are endless.

love when you can,
cry when you have to,
be who you must,
that's a part of the plan.
await your arrival with simple survival
and one day we will all understand.

life is the art of drawing,
without the eraser.

=)

life been like a haste to me.
everything tt happened seems to only be yesterday's thing..
awwwwwwww~ i dislike the feeling. =/
been getting kinda of emo and moody here and there. =(
and i don't knw why. LOL
recently, i kept having a statment going through my mind.
and whenever i think/recall it, the tear will just flow.. =/

aunt : 来，去看阿婆最后一次 ( crys )

来，去看阿婆最后一次
these word make me tear even to today..

and recently these words keep flashing through my mind..
and each time it appear the tears will also flow....
fk, hw can i get over it... =/

我不想再这样下去了。。。
我觉得我还没长大，思想还很幼稚。
我还不懂得面对人生的生于死。
我还没学会接受。。。
meiping || 12:23 AM

boy this if for u. =)
Throughout life you will meet one person who is unlike any other.
This person is the one you could forever talk to.
They understand you in a way that no one else does or ever could.
This person is your soul mate and best friend.
Don't ever let him go .

wad wil be wil be,
wad wil nt be wil never be.

oh kelian de dardar! =.=!
hope he is alright...
deciding if im free on all the weekedns shall go back babysit dardar..
nowaday maids are getting from bad to worst.
=)
gan ma miss u lots!

this r.s seem so hopeless.
you demand to be chased for your love.
my desperate heart is far too weak to run for you this long.
but you don't care at all.
there's nothing i can do to draw you close to me.

popo, i miss u...
i dread gg back to there.
i dread seeing a empty bed.
i dread not able to hear ur voice, see ur smile, feel ur touch.
i didnt knw it would hurt so much compare to gongong's death.
u meant so much to me......
the whole family, i could only tok to u.
even u dont understand.. at least u listen...
u listen with so much care, concern and love tt language isnt a prob between us.
im slowly healing, accepting the truth..
but it still hurts..
The hardest part about growing up
is letting go of
what you were used to,
And moving on with
something you're not.

i only knw, now in my life i only need my daily dose of vitMoney and vitFriends.
i want to quit vitLove. coz it is doing harm to me.
slowly, step by step..
everything must go....

ps- jw i hate webcaming with u, but i love watchin u webcam. lolx
faster settle down find a part-time job!
so tt u can affort my air ticket to NY!
i wan go NY! miss u so much my sister~ lolx
wo men shi hao jie mei!
meiping || 1:09 AM

oh gosh. started working todae.
workin for seab again but different dept.
doing different stuffs too.
ah... would be better if im back with the other team.
no need to stare at the comp for hrs n hrs.
ok enough of whining.
at least im gettin paid! <3 <3
the other hotel still hasnt call me back.
i guess there wont be any call ba.
NVM! i wil find another hotel! ^.^v
wait for me k~
$_$

hmmm
why do sometime i feel that, even a friend cares for me more then u..
meiping || 9:53 PM

sometimes to keep it together,
you have to leave it alone.

When something unexpected comes,
You just have to pick it up
and run with it.
Logic cannot convince the heart.

A memory is a way of holding onto something you once were,
the things you are
& the things you never want to lose.

sometimes we must get hurt in order to grow,
we must fail in order to know.
sometimes our vision clears
only after our eyes are washed away with tears.
There are some people in life that make
you laugh a little louder,
smile a little bigger,
and just live a little better.

Things will get worse before they get better.
But when they do,
remember who put you down
and who helped you up.
I guess I just want you to know that
I'm not holding you to anything we may have said in the past.
I want you to live your life
and be happy and enjoy everything that goes along with that.
Sometimes you make a promise
and you mean it at the time,
but then life gets in the way
and makes it impossibly to keep.

quoted from a senior blog. =)
love her quotes.. <3
meiping || 2:04 AM

Sometimes you need to step outside,
clear your head
and remind yourself of who you are
and where you wanna be.
Sometimes all you can do is not think.
Not wonder.
Not obsess.
Not imagine.
Just breathe.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Everything works out in the end
and the more you worry about it,
the longer it's going to take for things to end perfectly,
just the way they should.

Maybe crying
is a means of cleaning yourself out emotionally.
Or maybe it's your communication of last resort,
the only way to express yourself when words fail.
The same as when you were a baby
and had no words.

And even though it's cloudy outside,
you have to remember,
the sun is always shining.
You just can't see the light yet.

and i know it sounds confusing,
but at that moment,
i just wanted to walk out of the room i was in,
sit down in the middle of the hall way,
and cry. just cry.

we all are a little damaged.
some of us hide it better than others,
but on some level we are all torn up.
we take it out on others and beat through life carrying it all,
and we will end up damaging someone else.
and most of the time we won't even notice or bother to care,
because we are busy with our own little disaster.
meiping || 6:15 PM

gone gone gone....
gone forever and ever... =/
mp don't like this year.
so many shit kept happening non-stop.
when can my life be peaceful..

just came back from malaysia.
popo passed away on thur morning, 2.45am.
the wake was held for 3 day.
end on saturday.

i know in life they are bounds have regrets.
and i know in my life they biggest regrets wasn't not being the best student, friend, family, girlfriend. but i keep on trying, cause i won't want popo to be sad.
but now
the regret i carry,i couldn't be there for popo.
=/ everyone got to see popo for the last time, but i didn't get the chance.

i kept praying and praying. i kept telling myself, ' don't worry, popo wil be fine!' , ' popo is strong, she wil be okie!'
till today, this moment, these words still linger in my mind and thoughts.
i still couldn't believe it. =/
im nt avoiding it, i just couldn't accept it.

i miss the way i can look at popo when she sleep.
so peaceful.
i miss the way she pats me to sleep.
so secure.
i miss the way she nags and scold.
so concern for me.
i miss the warmth of her body and hand.
so comfty.
i miss the smile on her face.
so contented.
i miss the smell of her.
it lingers.
i just miss her so so so much...
i really miss her alot...

it hurts.
it really does hurts.
each and everyone the family are hurt...
bleeding hearts for the lost of our belove grandmother.
slient tears we shed for her.....
the scars encraved into our hearts and souls is a painful stage in life.

RIP
meiping || 3:01 AM

meiping/zhonghua
16061988
My Life Journal =)

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