I seriously dont know whats wrong with myself!
I just cant seems to sleep anymore.. =(
Everytime i try to sleep it take at least a couple of hours before i manage to doze off..
Sleep doesnt come easy anymore... I mean it became worst la...
In the past, im still able to sleep, i mean i get sleepy around 5am or 6am..
But nowaday it got worst, see till now its almost 11am already and yet im still so farking awake.
I dont know wad i dread about sleeping, but i cant seem to sleep well anymore..
Even after dozing off i will just wake up every 2-3 hrs...
Whats wrong man! Seriously can some one tell me?
Hais..
Through the looks and words of friends i know they are very worried for me..
The 360degree change in me got them very worried and confused..
I dont even know wad i m doing, and why i m doing..
The late nights out freak some of them out, the way i drinks, the way i sleep and eat...
I just had a measurement.. I lost 2kg within this 3 weeks.. I should be happy that i lost 2kg!
But somehow i dont, i know my body is trying very hard to adapt to my lifestyle now tts explain the lose of 2kg.
Some of them said im just hidding and covering myself up from the breakup..
But when i touch my heart and ask myself.. All i know is i feel no hurt from it anymore..
Im numb towards it already... I told when i broke up with Ason that was the last time i will ever feel any hurts.. But it seems like im wrong... This time round i hurt beyond what pain can describe till i cant feel myself anymore..
I dont wish this to last... I hope internship start soon..
I hope i get my normal life back... I will live, sleep and eat the normal way... Even if it makes me fat.. hahaha.. Girls are vain ! =p
I dont knw how i feel about the relationship between antonio and me..
Or maybe it beyond what words can say.. I cant seems to find the right word to fit in...
This relationship is sooo much different from the past..
In the past every memories hurts, every small lil thing can easily trigger my tears..
However this time round, its different.. Even if i goes to the places where we always go i feel nothing.. I recall nothing.. Maybe my mind mentally shut his memories out..
If i were to recall i need to try very hard in order to recollect the memories...
Maybe they were right, mentally hidding and covering up the pain?
Hais...... I dont knw man... i just dont want him to be back affecting me anymore! Outoutout u go! Out of my life!
I HATE THIS KIND OF LIFE!