have a short summary for the weeks.. =)
right after my bday was my darling gal's xuefen bday!
intend to go ice-skating, but it was fully packed..
changed to bowling!
we had 11 games of bowling.. cool hur?
11 games =.=!
earlier on, maybe weeks ago? i sort of injured my old injury..
but after the bowling session it got worst!
hahas.. i have a pig hand now.. =p
on wrist wrap and wrist guard now.. hopefully it will recover soon..
anyway, after the bowling session went for dinner..
went to the famous amk chilli crab! woots! dam nice!
two thumbs up! ^^
had mj aftermaths..

the rest of the week seems to fast forward..
seems so busy and packed with stuff..
but i dont really remember what i was busy with.. >hahas..
i remembered i had alot of mj session..
hmmm........
thats all i guess...

baby, tell me how can i ever trust u wholeheartly again?
tell me, teach me, guide me...
why not, tell me what are worth trusting?

ps : thanks boy for the company. =)

meiping || 3:32 AM

baby, friends kept asking me why I keep on loving you when it's clear that you don't feel the same way for me... the problem is that as much as I can't force you to love me, I can't force myself to stop loving you. i don't know what else i should right now.
sighs..

im stupid...
yes, im...

restless...
heartless..
meiping || 4:31 AM

Have you ever been hurt and the place tries to heal a bit, and you just pull the scar off of it over and over again.

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

...Lost in your heart, lost in your eyes
Lost every day, no map to follow
Entire days, weeks, a blur
Flickers of light, in the darkness,
Only to be enveloped in shadows once more...

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

If you're going to make me cry, at least be there to wipe away the tears.

Nothing hurts more than realizing he meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to him.

I wonder, when you look into my eyes and watch my heart shatter, does it break your heart too, even crack it a little bit?

I’m going to smile and make you think I’m happy, I’m going to laugh, so you don’t see me cry, I’m going to let you go in style, and even if it kills me - I’m going to smile.

There's a girl in my mirror crying tonight, and there's nothing I can say to make her feel all right.

It's always the same in every relationship, there is always one person crying and wishing to get back together, while the other doesn't even remember the things they've been through. I hate that I have to be the one who remembers every little detail while you can't seem to remember me at all.

Sometimes you think you've gotten over a person, but when you see him smile you suddenly realize you're just pretending you're over him to ease the pain of knowing that he will never be yours.
meiping || 4:13 AM

i have no idea, what the fcuk i'm doing..
i lost the sense of everything..
sigh..

arghs........

i hate this feeling...
what's becoming of me already...

craziness........
crankiness........
meiping || 9:42 PM

bday is over.. officially 21 yr old already..
had 3 celebration.. 1 with kristy n co.. 2 with baby and co.
no celebration with family..
that's all i guess..
sat was anto's granny bday..
had dinner at Owen's place..
was like having a wedding dinner..
10 course meal.. faints..

i don't know what else to blog already..
or what can be blog, what cannot be blog..
i don't feel that this is MY blog anymore..
i have to be so caution of what i types..
boring..

shifting, moving, changing..

i need a break...
meiping || 9:37 PM

im lost...
why am i so hem and haw when it comes to this..

gone....
meiping || 11:18 PM

Yeah
I’ve been so lost lately
I don’t really understand baby
Where did i go wrong
I wanna talk to you
Please call
Where do i begin with you
After all that we’ve been through
I don’t think that it would be right if we
Got together so suddenly
I wish that i could take back all the things that i said
And replace them with simply i love you instead

You don’t wanna say goodbye
But you never really seem like you wanna try
But i only wanted you to stay
Then i let you just slip away
If you didn’t listen to your heart inside
Then it really doesn’t matter what was on your mind
And if you need me then tell me why
Girl, i never meant to say goodbye
Mmm oh yeah
I think about the past baby
Why we couldn’t make it last, lady
I know you still have doubts
But i’m gonna prove that we can work things out
I wanna be sure that you know what you put me through
And reveal that you intend to never let me down again
It’s clear to me and i can’t ignore
That i have to give you something i couldn’t before

You don’t wanna say goodbye
But you never really seem like you wanna try
But i only wanted you to stay
Then i let you just slip away
If you didn’t listen to your heart inside
Then it really doesn’t matter what was on your mind
And if you need me then tell me why
Girl, i never meant to say goodbye

I didn’t think that we would come to this
Ooh, no
Your eyes, your face, your smile is what i miss
Why’d you wait so long to take me back
It’s all a simple misunderstanding

You don’t wanna say goodbye
But you never really seem like you wanna try (never wanna try)
But i only wanted you to stay
Then i let you just slip away
If you didn’t listen to your heart inside
Then it really doesn’t matter what was on your mind
And if you need me then tell me why
Girl, i never meant to say goodbye

You don’t wanna say goodbye
But you never really seem like you wanna try (but i never meant to say)
But i only wanted you to stay
Then i let you just slip away
If you didn’t listen to your heart inside (never meant to see you cry, never meant to say)
Then it really doesn’t matter what was on your mind
And if you need me then tell me why
Girl, i never meant to say goodbye
meiping || 12:48 AM

Lets start from Saturday..
woke up around 2pm, but stayed on my bed till 4pm..
went over to baby's house around 4plus..
slacked and chilled till it was time for dinner..
baby's dad drove us to queentown's town Zhou Zhung for dinner..
it wasn't the best, but overall not bad.. =)
this time round the bill came up to another 200 plus.. treat from baby's dajie.
after dinner went ikea with baby's family...
walked around till around 10pm..
baby's dajie drove us to Liang Court. thanks!
met up with bunch of people at partyworld.
people presents were, baby, me, yanling n bf, hua, xf, milo, laoeh, kelly n bf, and not forgetting alfie! we sang from around 11pm till 530am! woots~
finish one bottle that night..
hmmm, i guess 3/4 is by me.. =p
went geylang to have breakfast before heading back to baby's house..
thanks everyone for coming! =))
thanks thanks thanks~

sunday woke up around 1pm..
slack on the bed with baby till he wakes up..
around 3pm order pizzahut and started packing his house...
we only pack the dinning area.. and it took us almost the rest of the day!
hmmm.. baby, me, dajie, dajie's bf and dajie's friend..
5 of us, and yet it still took us soooo long!
and and and, its not done yet! omg~ *faints*
so god dam messy la.. super bth already!
we threw away lots of stuffs.. but there is still alot..
=.=!!
anyway, went home around 11pm..
thats all i guess..

hmmm.. should i, or should i not get itouch? >.should i get the 8GB, 16GB or 32GB?


meiping || 12:38 AM

baby, its hurting me so badly..
this time round it really does hurts so badly..
i wish i could just die away from this pain...
slowly as times goes by, its eating me up..
i dont know how long more i can hold on to it..
both path is painful for me...
its cutting deep and hard into me...
if i choose to end the relationships, it will hurt me...
i know i will takes a long time to recover from it..
but if i choose to stay with u, im gonna get hurt too..
wads the point.. both path is the same ending..
cause baby, u never change... u never did change even for once...
i am waiting for u to change, like wad u said and promised..
but it never did come true.. even for once...
none...................
so i guess, even in the future it will not happens too..

sigh......
there is some part in me that feels kind of ' bu gan yuan'
i dont know why.. maybe, to me i put in so much effort, and all i get back was shit..
i hate this kind of feeling..
i just wish everything will goes away...

u are like my kite in air...
over the time, i have let lose too much of u..
till this day, u have already flown out of my sight......
its too late to tug back the line already....

---------------------------------------

jiewei, i miss u...
missing u so much that it could bring tears to my eyes..
every minute every seconds..
i just wish u were by my side...
like the past... always there for me...
i miss u....... i really do.......

-----------------------------------------

my bday wishes is that everyone around me, especially my family to be in the pink of health..
my 2nd wishes is to make it thru my degree!
as for my 3rd wishes.......... it will be in my heart....... =))

-----------------------------------------

in slient.. my heart bleeds........
it would be another scar..........

meiping || 1:50 AM

lets start from Saturday..
Sat morning woke up at 630am..
prepared and cab to school..
field trip! HSBC Tree Top Walk..
in actual fact we started the walk around 930am and ended around 130pm..
4 solid hours of walking.. >.<
dam shag can! argh...
hahas.. anyway, i was the 1st to complete the tree top walk trail, 1st to climb the tower and also 1st to reach the ending point!
weets! nice.. im powderful~~
i was so glad that we went for the Tree Top Walk Trail instead of another trail..
=.=! tree top walk trail was only around 3-4km..
the other trail was at least 7km! i walked tt trail before, i swear i almost die!
took cab home from there.. fell aslp while waiting for my hair to dry..

woke up around 10pm.. met baby for super late dinner..
went back home and changed..
boy came down to fetch me.. =) thanks!
it was a awesome night out..! one of the most happening night for me i guess? hahas..
its was my advance bday bash!
kristy, bb & bf, yaya & bf, boy, fred, jovan, sze qing and ah xiang was the guest present..
we had martell canon, moet, chivas, waterfall, graveyard, test tube, vodka, macallen, teq shots, absinthe. there was more, but i forgotten already..
in short 21 different kind of alchol.. that night expenses was all on boy..
the bill came up to a whooping 3k!
it was crazy! so many of us got wasted! we drank all the way till 630am..
left the pub around 7am.. boy sent me home.. thanks once again..
i was lucky, there wasnt the usual cakes smashing event.. awww... thanks alot guys! hahas..
i really enjoyed myself yst.. thanks for making everything possbile!
thanks for the presents too.. =))
love every single presents!
oh! nt forgetting the flowers.. pretty pretty roses and tulips.

special thanks boy for staying by my side the whole night,
accompanying me to drink, helping me to drink, making an effort to fetch me to and fro and watching out for me.. =) no words are able to express the feeling.. im touched..
not forget the others too!
u guys are my LOVE!

lets hope the 13th of june will be another happening night!

May all one can do is to hope to end up with the right regrets..

oh! wishlist! muhahas..
wanna know wad i wan right.. fine! i will tell u guys..
make sure u guys get it for me hor!
i want...
32GB iTouch,
Gucci Bag,
Coach Wallet,
LV sling bag,
Dior pouch,
Sony , purple limited edition laptop,
lots of CASH,
FCUK watch,
brand new Bed,
Air con for my room,
last but not least, how about a Prada Bag too?
MUHAHA! lalalala~
meiping || 11:55 PM

im back from drinking..
and to everyone's expectation i got drunk..
it was a awesome night out..
i didnt regret going down despite feeling sick. =)
ok, let me start from the start k.
i woke up for sch event..
went HSBC Tree Top Walk..
i was the 1st to cross the line, 1st to climb the tower, and 1st to reach the ending point.. =)
im powderful~~ muhahas...
its total madness alright! the sun was good to us.. cloudy cloudy~
which mean no sun burns! anyway we started our walk ard 930am?
and ended ard 130pm.. which means we walk for 4 solid hours!
it kinda of reminded me of secondary school..
during that period, actually i went for another trail.. with the schools and friend..
miss doing that actually.. =S
anyway, took a cab home and fell aslp while waiting for my hair to dry..
woke up due to hunger.. =p
met baby for dinner at blk 284..
went home bathe and changed..

boy came to fetch me, thanks for coming all the way down just to fetch me! =))
attendance for today gathering is : Kristy, Boy , BB n bf, YAYA n bf, ah fred, kok siang, jovan, kelvin, sze qing, ah xiang and jasen! thanks all for the the adavnce bday bash!
lets see, it was crazy!
coz its non-stop drinking.. -.-!
let me recall, i rem we had
2 bottle of canon, countless cups of teq shots, waterfall, absinthe, graveyard, test tub, moet, malt, macallen.. there was more.. but i couldnt rem the names..
hahas.. in short, there was 21 diff kind of alchol!
coz it was my 21th bday celebration.
they even bought my fav cake! <3~
not long after they sang the bday song, and cut the cake..
i got totally wasted, took a short nap.. woke up and cont drinking till 6am..
shoik! hmmm.. not only me got wasted! a couple got drunk too!
hahas.. everyone was high on alchol..
we ended the drinking at 630am..
went for early breakfast and boy sent me home.. =)

this night was possbile because u guys were there!
u all made it came true..

big big thanks to everyone.. and thanks for the roses and tulips.
and not forgetting boss for making everything possbile tonight..
last but not least, thanks you, for staying by my side all night long,
watching out for me.. accompanying me, helping me to drink...
making an effort to fetch me to and fro, and also ordering of the cakes and flowers..
im glad u kept ur promises of not buying a gift.. hahas..
everyone had fun..

i was kind of shocked that i still have the enegry to blog right now..
in fact, im kind of wide awake.. gonna have a serious hang over i guess..

May all one can do is to hope to end up with the right regrets..
meiping || 4:05 AM

its 530am right now..
and im still wide awake..
my body is tired... but mentally i just cant seems to sleep..
i tried.. i shut my eyes for an hour..
tossing here and there..
and im still wide awake..

my heart is aching...
its so unbearable...
i rather it be physical pain...
i cant seems to take this kind of heart aches and pains..
i really cant... =,(
as my bday comes nearer.. the pain double up..

P A I N
T E A R
A C H E
L O S T
L O N E
D E A D
D A W N
D U S K
G O N E
F A L L
H U R T
H A R D
S H A G
T I M E
H U G S
K I S S
L O V E
H A T E
W E A R
L I E S
G I V E
C A R E
F E E L
H E A L
S I G H

nights.......
meiping || 5:30 AM

my heart is set..
my heart should be set..
my heart must be set..

focus....
focus....
focus....

no more losing of self-control!
get a hold of myself!

=)

life will get better in times to come...
it will...

i miss the great old time...
where have my old self went to?
did i really changed that much?
to such extend?
did i changed for a better or worst?

avoiding is tiring...
but avoiding is for the better some time..
i do miss ur company...
but i cannot let things carry on too far..
needa to have a hang of it before thing goes out of hand..
im sorry my dear...

love me, and i will love u back...
this does not stands anymore..
love me and i will not love u back...
this is much better i guess?
why lets people in, when u know they are gonna hurt u..
some says its worth it, some says it is stupid..
well, it all depends on personal views and thinking i guess..
as for myself.. im still learning...
i hope i will be able to learn this lesson asap...
the faster i get the hang of thing..
the better thing will be...

unlease the craziness in me..
lets party... and have fun...
=)
meiping || 1:33 AM

randomness~

totally dam random..
just saw this on a blog the other day..
decided to blog it out here to share..
i don't know whose the org writer.. but credits to lean.. =)

Does anyone out there knows the 5 basic needs of man & woman?

I was told that it was statistically proven through divorce cases in US.

With the following basic needs, married couples can maintain their relationships better; hence lowering divorce cases.

Woman's 5 basic needs from her husband

1. Affection - he must show affection to her (eg: hug her, tell her he love her)
2. Honesty - he must be honest
3. She forgotten
4. Financial Support - He must be able to support her even if she's not working (though it dont really apply to all)
5. Conversation - heart to heart talk / talk on any topic cos woman loves talking

Man's 5 basic needs from his wife

1. Sex
2. Recreational Partner - he would love his wife to accompany him in his recreational activities (eg: he loves golf, he would want his wife to know how to play if not accompany him with the game)
3. She forgotten
4. Beautiful wife - something to do with his ego, anyway who doesnt wish to have a beautiful wife?
5. Compliments - Praises from their wife (eg: not to say them ugly/fat or any other hurtful words even as a joke; deep inside, those words do hurt..)

Apart from the above 5 basic needs, she also mentioned about love bank.

What's love bank?

In general, everyone has a love bank whereby all the transactions are in love units instead of money.

For the singles,

Their love bank has more than 1 love accounts whereby the opp sex who are interested in them will either deposit/withdraw love units from the account.

When someone did something you dislike, it will automatically withdraw its love units in your account & vice versa.

For married couples,

Their love bank has only 1 love account which belongs to their spouse. The above 5 basic needs would help the couple to deposit love units to their account.

However, in cases where the love units in the account becomes low, it gives another opp sex an apportunity to open an account in the bank to deposit love units. When the love units of the new comer overtakes the spouse's, it normally would result in extra martial issues or divorce cases.

---------------------------------------------------

not much updates on my life i guess..
everyday has been school and NLB..
that's all..
life is getting more n more boring..

*focus*

life is like a roller coaster ride..
full of ups and down..


meiping || 1:27 AM

CONTROL
meiping || 12:40 PM

i seriously do need to get a hold of myself..
=.=
but sometime when the limited is being reach, its beyond saving..
i don't know about others..
but at least i know about myself..
my level of limits and anger..
argh.
just count me out of the mess..
i really had enough..
im a GEMINI.......
i need my own freedom to do thing..
i like to do thing my way.. my own time , own target..
i don't owe my life to anyone.. beside my parents..
in fact, i don't think i owe my life even to them..
i own myself only..
i don't see a need for me to report to anyone about
where i am, who i am with, what i am doing all these crap..
if i feel like saying i will say.. i will reply, i will answer..
if i don't feel like, just stop it.. i don't know..
maybe its just personal feeling and issue..
i treat different people differently, i admit that..
but sometime its u, urself whom resulted in that..

i don't know how long i able to hold back all these feeling and emotion..
but trust me, once it reach the unbearable limit, don't blame me..
warning has been there..
sick and tired..

step by step...
slowly... moving...
hopefully it will reach soon...
cheers for me when the time has come..
give me a hug to smooth the pain...
give me a pat to encourage me...
meiping || 12:08 PM

Suppose I called you up tonight and told you that I loved you
And suppose I said "I wanna come back home".
And suppose I cried and said "I think I finally learned my lesson"
And I'm tired a-spendin' all my time alone.

If I told you that I realised you're all I ever wanted
And it's killin' me to be so far away.
Would you tell me that you loved me too and would we cry together?
Or would you simply laugh at me and say:

"I told you so, oh I told you so
I told you some day you come crawling back and asking me to take you in
I told you so, but you had to go
Now I found somebody new and you will never break my heart in two again".

If I got down on my knees and told you I was yours forever
Would you get down on yours to and take my hand?
Would we get that old time feelin', would we laugh and talk for hours
The way we did when our love first began?

Would you tell me that you'd missed me too and that you'd been so lonely
And you waited for the day that I return.
And we'd live in love forever and that I'm your one and only
Or would you say the tables finally turned?

Would you say:

"I told you so, oh I told you so
I told you some day you come crawling back and asking me to take you in
I told you so, but you had to go
Now I found somebody new and you will never break my heart in two again".

"Now I found somebody new and you will never break my heart in two again".
meiping || 1:54 AM

=)

im back home from a wonderful dinner!
waited for baby to knock off.
he took time off today to celebrate our 3yr ann.
but thing never goes well for us.
never never never..
we had quite a tiff.
things didnt goes as planned..
so last min called hua down to amk for chilli crabs.
my fav food~ keke~
chilli crabs! yeaa~~~ ^^v
its was supposed to be my treat! no paying next time le hor!
thanks for ur specially framed gift hurhur. hahas
placed it at my table le. =p
everyday i will see it~~
baby bought me a DKNY watch for our 3yr ann.
thanks baby..

once again..
happy 3rd yr ann baby..
and
happy chi bday to myself. hahas.

hmmm... kok having some trouble right now..
hopes everything goes well for him..
i dont wan another friend in jail k..
i dont wan write letters!

in silent i pray for everyone safety...

nights peoples..
meiping || 1:47 AM

was it me that's drifting further away from u,
or was it that you have walk away from me?

its like a never ending complication..
the myriad of untold truth..

i don't know why am i still hanging on there naively,
waiting for a change or mircale?

im wondering if i can still do it..
taking all his shit and rubbish till my birthday.
why does my life always have so much shit stuffs happening?!
all i wanted was a stable relationship, a gd bf that pampers and loves me..
and be FAITHFUL to me.
the family is constantly giving me shits too..
what the fcuk is happening man.
i just want a simple family..
im slowly losing control of myself already.
losing my temper, my faith, my senses..
i guess its everything..
sometime i just wanna let lose of everything and be myself.
be no one but myself.. i miss childhood....
i really do miss... and in fact alot...
i miss the feeling of being carefree....

expectation really kills a person...
hahahaha...

meiping || 1:12 AM

just reached home not long ago.. *tired
was late for school yst.. =p
sch was boring.. have so many forms to fill in and have so much stuff to pay..
-.- school shirt cost 36buck for 2.. -.-!
the color is dam ugly can... zzzzz
just dont tell me i need to wear it when we go for our Tree Top Walk during june..
*prays*
anyway, after school cab down to Shangri-La Hotel..
reached there early and join chris at the Nadaman Restaurant first..
waited for baby and his family...
had a filling lunch.. but the food nt that nice, not worth the money..
the bill came up to a whooping $500+. hahas.
but we got 50% off, was baby's mom treat.. =p
after lunch chris drove us to Liang Court to make a booking at TamPoPo.
aftermath went back to J8. bought a slipper n belt.. =))
evening time, went down to Liang Court again!
the dinner at TamPoPo was speechless! nice food! ahahas.
love their scallop and egg~ nicenice~
the bills came up to another 300+ bucks. -.-!
this time round was baby's treat..
baby's dad drove us back home..
nua awhile , mickey came to pick us up..
head down to BQ..
poke balls again.. -.-!!
wads so nice about poking balls.. argh!
played 3 round of pool with mickey's gf.. -.-!
and the guys really do knw hw to play and throw their gf aside! idiotic! hate it! =((
stayed there till the shop closes.. -.-!
cab back to baby's hus and sleep! finally i get to sleep! =))

26th May 2009, today is my chinese bday.. =)
happy bday to myself!
26th May 2009 is also our 3rd yr ann..
happy 3rd yr ann baby..

3yrs... 3yrs already... cant believe that i spent 3yrs on this relationship..
all the efforts, tears and sorrow.. hahas..
im speechless... am always speechless...
just a matter of time... u turned my heart into a soild stone state already..
and i must really thanks you for it....

karma... =))
meiping || 1:04 PM

All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted
Was a simple way to get over you
All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted
Was an in-between to escape this desperate scene
Where every lie reveals the truth
Baby 'cause all I ever wanted
All I ever wanted was you
I'd rather walk alone
Don't wanna chase you around
Every way, every day, every minute
I've fallen a thousand times
For I let you drag me down

baby, im no longer expecting a change from u..
put it another way... i never expect much from u..
im just like every other girls.. who pins for a caring and loving bf..
nothing more beside that.. or maybe what i want is a man, not a boy like u.
i want my man to appreciate the thing i do and love me with no doubts.
i also want my man to give me the freedom i need..
i need the mutal understanding too!
but maybe all along i have been expecting too much?
is my expectation that high? sigh...
i dont know what else i can expect from this relationship beside holding on to the faith..
or maybe i been relying too much on u... its has become part of my life..
a kind of habit...u are like a drug to me.. im so addicted to u...
and right now, im trying to kick off this drug...
i have been trying for the past 1 year, but sad to say, maybe i didnt put in enough effort..
but i will keep trying... however each time i try, i failed..
cause ur words always bring me down whenever i thought im gonna make it..
ur words melts through my heart.. even though i have no idea is it right from ur heart...
all i knw is that u had my heart attached to a string..
but i will not give up...
cause each step i takes bring me closer to success..
i believe in that... one fine day, i will make it through...
all i need now is time...
i just hope u wont be like the others, cherish only when u are about to lose it...
sigh..
this the worst scenrio i could think of...

will we be able to have the happy ending?
no one knows... im clueless too...
afterall what i feel might be affected by my mood i guess..

losing faiths and hopes...
i have a bad feeling that this gonna be a hard fall for me...
just hope thing turns out fine...
no longer pin anymore hopes.....
what will be, will be....
and my heart is aching right now...

somehow i'm too affectionate & emotional i guess?

a hug for me my dear friend?
and a hug for my dears too....
thanks for the hugs my dears friends..
my dearest friends... i thank you for everything u have done for me...

silent prayers for everyone...

i am done for today...
heading for to bed soon..
hopefully im able to dream soon..
wait for me in lala land my friends..
i will join ur guys shortly...
a good dream for me please... =)


meiping || 1:34 AM

*edited*
I overslept today.. =(
missed school..
if i say my alarm didnt beeps u guys will say i having excuses.
so put it this way, im a sleeyhead k?
im so dam tired, even i slept at 1am!
i got tons of msg when i woke up..
lesson is at 830am! and i woke up at 830am..
bathed and got out of hus asap before mom wakes up..
called baby, waited an 1hr for him to prepare..
hate it when i have to wait for him...
i dont knw why, but if u ask me to wait for friends i dont mind.. =p
just personal feeling i guess?
had a drink with baby and he sent me home around 11am.
pack my laptop and went bugis.
went national lib to do some research for my assignment... =)
stayed there till 5pm..
aftermath had dinner at aijisan..
went to have a walk around some memories place...
its was a period of honeymood back than...
=)
i left not long, due to my heavy laptop..
took a bus home....

haven been drinkin for around a month i guess?
hahas actual fact i miss drinking!
but i need budget for the next few months.
missing money... + out going money... = BROKE!
hahas!
im fucking broke nw la.. and i hate this feeling...
never felt this broke before.. never felt this kind of betray too...
its part of life i guess?
side note!
i have a bunch of idiots friends! hahas! dam idiotic friends!
whom said that im full of crap.. -.-!
seriously need to tone down can?!
cut down the expenses of drinking.. =)
everything is about money...
=.=!!

i wonder what life have on hold for me...
but what i know is, each step i takes will lead me closer to success.
meiping || 1:16 AM

they said i changed a lot over the past 3 years..
did i?
totally have no idea...
i just hope that i have changed for the better? =)
meiping || 8:46 PM

meiping || 2:15 AM

feeling vexed right now..
no words can describe how im feeling right now...
im losing faith in the family already...
and where on earth did my money 'ran' to?
everything is about money money money...
sigh...

i already don't know what i want in the relationship already..
i am so lost right now..
they say my heart holds the answers to every doubts i have..
but the fact is , i do not know any answers at all..
all the answers doesnt makes any sense..
no longer able to define the feeling of 'love' already...
maybe too long didnt get in touch with 'love' ? hahas..

friends friends friends...
they say true friends do whats best for u...
but my good friends right now are making thing worst for me..
can someone put themselves in my shoes and think?

feel what i feel, and not only your own feeling...
im human.. i have feelings too..
i can be hurt too..
i may seems strong on the surface..
but im not.. i am never strong..
am just lucky that every times i falls there is this pillar there for me to hold on..
and these pillars are my friends and family..
i no longer include boyfriend as a pillar already.... long ago ditch that thinking...
in fact, i should ditch all thinking...
no one can be there for u forever...
the only person is urself...

fear.....
meiping || 12:33 AM

what a month..
just had a row with my dad on last friday..
today i had another major row with my mom..
and my saving is draining out.. =((
great great great..
i can forget about holidays already...
i can also forget about getting a new laptop...
CRAP!

as for today.. early in the morning before the lesson even start some idiot gals spill orange juice on me.. -.-!
dam...
and it was pouring dam heavy la.. =.=!
waited 2hrs for a idiot.. thanks.. zzzz
school sucks..
i took the case studies before, and the teacher kept repeating the same thing over and over again..
like a broken recorder..

supposed to meet up with a couple of friends for gathering..
but BOO!! canceled!
so met milo and jon for dinner at amk..
aftermath had accompany hua for her dinner...
home bitter home right now...

beside that BB and YAYA issue is in such a mess!
decision is mine.. i'm not supporting any side..
last words for this issue..
girls, do what is best for me..
its not a time to have conflict right now..

and i guess i made another wrong decision earlier on.
maybe what i think is best for my friends are not what they think is..
maybe i shouldnt care so much...
" feel what i feels and not only ur own feeling "
haha.. what a joke..

life is full of trepidation..

fear....


meiping || 12:22 AM

=)
im a happy gal right now..
at least for this moment..
it was fruitful meeting up with baby..
he pass me $400!
yeaa~
im 400 buck richer this month.. keke~
can do some shopping~~
first thing first i would need to get my web-cam!
hahas.. follow by bag~

anyway, my phone gave up on me again.. crap..
made me miss sch today.. =(
lucky petty marked attendance for me..
if not it would be hell..

having a dam crappy feeling..
had a row with daddy today..
the feeling sucks..
sigh..
mom alone is enough trouble for me to handle..
the row with dad made thing worst..
i just felt like grabbing my stuffs and walk away from him..
walk off right infront of him..
dam...
this sucks.. -.-!

just hope thing will get better ba..
let time unfold everything..
meiping || 2:35 AM

Oh! see see! hahas..
its nice!
i still miss u.. till today...
popo, how u doing in heaven?
everything alright? did u get to meet gonggong? =)
tell him i miss him too k?
am slowly taking in already i guess..

imu...
meiping || 12:18 AM

school been like a breeze to me..
hahas.. alot n alot of assignment n project n essay..

i don't expect much from u,
u know mah?
hahas.. u don't know, and u will never know...
im really like wad they say.. "stupid"

friends been playing a very important roles in my life..
friends comes and goes...
but there are some whom stayed...
thankful to them.. =)
its fate and luck that we can all be friends..
same interests and hobbies..
its not easy to find such a big grp like 7-8 ppl that can click so well..
and shares the same ideas..
im glad things worked out for us..
however, i don't want, and don't wish to be breaking up the grp..
no more spliting of grps and flip faces..
its my own issues.. my own thinking and decision...
sigh...
i am a sinner...
i bring bad luck to everyone i guess..
bring unhappiness to ever corner i go..
=(

i don't want to take any side..
=(

sighs...

*sinner*
meiping || 1:33 AM

its only the 4th day of school...
and i already have 4 assignment + 1 essay on hand..
tml will be getting 1 more assignment i guess..
compare to dip course degree is more complex..
hope i will be able to work towards my target.. =)
as usual school sucks.. hahas!
cancel of lesson now and then without notices -.-!
last min cancel somemore.. crap..

thanks guys for the daily morning calls and msg..
<3

i felt the physical tiredness in my body..
but every night my eyes just wont shut..
i can be dozing off on bus, mrt or cab..
but i just cant get to slp during the night time..

buck up buck up...

im gonna stop drinking for sometime i guess..
for good ba.. =)
dislike conflicts.. its my issue..
i will try to settle it myself..
i dont wish the grp to split.. -.-!
pls, its pointless quarrel over this issue..
no one is at fault..
i will nt take my stands..
this the 1st time and last time i am discussing abt it..
so just stop all the ' face flipping' stuff la..
if u all are gonna cont with this kind of game count me out..
i already said im not in for any games..
so just put a 'full-stop' to all these stuff alright..


- not easy -
meiping || 12:57 PM

let me recall, it should be saturday.. =) was waiting for friends when i saw this reflection being cast onto my hand.. nice and pretty.. even tot its not those kind of rainbow after rain but i still love the colors! see i even caught a rainbow! hahas i knw its childish, but who cares.. =p
saturday went for mj session with new friends.. fun expriences.. but long hours.. but overall <3~
dead tired by the time i was home.. coz i went ECP on friday night.. stayed there till almost 6am..
no wind! =( and it started pouring right after we went mac.. lucky us.. -.- the same exact thing happened on tuesday.. hahas.. <3 the wind and company.. thanks..

whereby sunday i met up with the girls, went to have a hair cut.. >.< i look so toot nw.. hair hair pls grow faster~ lol
after im done, went amk to wait for fish.. omg nor.. -.- waited for like 2hrs? i almost fell asleep..
didnt join them for dinner... baby said his hus celebrating mother's day.. will be having steamboat.. great! end up i didnt have dinner.. there's beef everywhere.. -.-!
and some arugement arose.. and thanks, it spolit my whole day.. dam..

pop a pill and slept early on sunday night.. =)
school starting on monday.. which is today la..
im so thankful for all the morning calls and encouraging msg from u guys.. <3
i managed to make it on time for sch.. even reached there early..
made 2 new friend.. and they are gonna be my grp mate.. dam!
-.-! i have a feeling that im gonna flunk my degree if im grp with them.. sigh...
what a day.. *tired*

and look what i found! its was a suprise that i manage to find this at home..
daddy always buy this whenever he comes back from business trips.. =)
local have store selling, but its more expensive and dont have the brand that i want.. sad case hur.. nvm, daddy is going oversea again this coming June! keke!
normally i dont finish the chocolate layer.. i will just drink the cocktails inside.. =p
thats all for the updates..
im so dead tired nw..
and btw i uploaded the videos~
milo rem to see k~ cannot remove tag also..

somehow i wish all these shit will come to an end soon..
it wearing me out..
and with the upcoming projects, assignments and essay it gonna be worst..
i just hope schools will be able to keep me real busy..
spare me out of the shit..
don't ask me to understand u... coz it nv works..
when i tried to understand u, u told me, not to do so..
and when i dont, u complain..
what exactly do u want from me?
i tired of all these guessing games.. im nt in for any game..

shag!
meiping || 11:14 PM

great.. i teared again..
i told myself countless time that i will stop tearing for him..
but why cant i control it when it comes to him..
why why why?
im so disappointed in myself..
sigh...
why do i have to keep repeating myself to him over and over again?
one simple task or stuffs i have to repeat like 3times or more..
but even so, he doesnt even put the heart to remember it..
i hate it..
i hate to repeat...
he says he just wanna be happy..
but have he tot that i wasnt happy..
humans are selfish...
so are him...
no one is spare.........

i seriously hate it......

who am i to u?
meiping || 10:13 PM

haha.. i pretty much screw everything today..
i canceled out on the drinking, rounding, ecp and pretty much everything.. hahas..
i will nt explain so much on these..
its kinda of easy, if u understand me, u will knw i dont do such stun..
if u get fed up , go ahead.. im alright with it.. =)

and great, mom grounded me.. ya.. she did..
and she think that by hiding my keys she will win..
we shall see abt it tonight i guess..

am going crazy soon..

kinda of having a fk up day.. -.-!
nths seems to goes my way..
dam it.. i hate this...



meiping || 7:13 PM

anyone have the song "when u wish upon a star" think is by Johann S. Bach.

has been raining almost every single night...
the weather is just like my feeling..
during the day, when im out with my friends, playing joking, laughing..
its like sunshine..
when the nights fall, i falls too..
and when it rains, it felt like im crying too..
cold and wet..

i wish this could just stop..
i want to sleep like a normal person.
i don't want to rely on the medication..
i just want all these tots out of my head.
and when it rains it just make thing worst i guess.

sigh...
meiping || 2:12 AM

<3 the wind and company at ecp last night..
thanks! =)
like what u told me, u are also one of the few friends that i wanna label "friend forever" =)
keke~
it was a wonderful night.. a peaceful night with the company of friend..
just lack of alcohol, if nt it would be ever much better.. hahas..
bought breakfast for baby..
and rot at baby's house for the whole day..
went home around 8pm..

anyway school is starting real soon. less than a week left..
and i have yet to get my stuff..
hmmm, will need a trip down to IMM tml..
reserved the present, and they are gonna hold it for 3 days only.
tml is the last day.. -.-! IMM is dam far.. hope im able to slp early tonight ba..
=) i still got 1 more present to settle for May babies.. ling present is such a headache! ><
speaking of it, i needa to pass her my digt cam tml too..


am already starting to feel the distance between us getting bigger..

How could something that feels so Right be so wrong?


meiping || 8:59 PM

anyone have the song "when u wish upon a star" think is by Johann S. Bach.

=)
let me type this out.. specially for my dar!
i finally met up with my dar after so so so long..
miss her like crazy..
waited for her to off wrk..
met up with her at the prata house..
baby joined us.. but crap can..
he was glued to his psp most of the time..
i think he said less then 10 complete sentence ba..
but nevertheless, i enjoyed the short meet up!
lets have more gathering dar!
<3~

I will not play at tug o' war
I'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs....

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

PS- i hate my new sch time-table..
=(


meiping || 5:37 AM

有好多好多的话想说..
可是找不到对的话..
好多好多的想法也是..

" 忍 "
" 累 "
" 痛 "
" 伤 "
" 情 "
" 恐 "
meiping || 12:33 AM

back at home right now..
=)
feeling soo soo soo sleepy!
BUT! i needa to stay awake till at least 9 or 10 before i turn in..
need to change back my sleeping time. =/
school starting in a weeks time..
wish me luck people! yes, i need luck again..
hahas..

org plan was to head out to drink last night..
but but but, plan wasn't able to be carried out.
end up head over to laoeh's house for mj with baby and hua..
i waited for like an 1hr for baby and another 1hr for hua..
lost 7 bucks yst.. sad sad sad...
have been on the losing side for quite some time already!
when is my lucky lady coming back to me?
come back to my side soon k. =))
cab back to baby's hus..
nap awhile and cab back home..
been trying to stay awake since 1pm..
omg.. >.<
2 more hours to go..

this insomnia issues have prolong for quite sometime already..
when can i sleep normally again?
dislike the doctors!
they always say the same thing over and over again. but nth they say seems to help..
>.< im so temped to take the dose..
argh!
meiping || 7:32 PM

speechless...
wordless...
am having so much thoughts in my mind..
like fast forward films..
everything shifting and changing..
hahas..
im lost...
meiping || 9:19 PM

lets have a short update before i head off for my bed.. =)
hmm last wed i stayed over at baby's house..
he is a idiot.. made me wait for close to 5hr..
=.=! he is lucky his hus have SCV, if nt im sure to make a mountain out of a mole!
anyway, thurs afternoon, went sakae sushi at j8..
xf and hua joined us..
after dinner caught 'after 17'..
after the movie baby went out to meet his fren at city hall..
xf and hua went home..
head home, changed and went out to meet boy and co.
i got totally wasted that night.. hahas.. but i somehow wanted too.. =p
met 2 really cute candy eyes there..
haha! the two angmong is dam hot.. =P im serious man.. haha..
the kind of blue eyes, brown hair, hot body...
the way of a gentleman... awww....
they treat us two 2 waterfall..
before the waterfall, we actually already finish 1 and a half bottle..
str after the 2 cup of waterfall, i str KO!
>.<
nv been good at holding on..
woke up at BB's house by baby's call..
quarrelled =.=! lame stuffs...
took a nap!
friday night met baby and hua for dinner at my house area...
hmmm...

sat... let see...
met hua at j8..
had dinner, aftermaths went to hunt for present..
bought a zippo for jeffrey's 21th bday..
shared with ling..
cab down to the chalet..
hahas.. nice nice..
sharon bday chalet was right opps of jeffrey.. =.=!
speechless...
well, some issue rose at jeff chalet..
couldnt help much.. =(
left around 1030..
took a cab to woodland..
had MJ at laoeh's house.. =0
haha.. won abit >.<
but i didn manage to get the winning.. sad sad sad..
total SHIT! =p
cab back to baby's house in the morning...
this entry is getting more n more boring as i rant on.. -.-!
supposed to meet boy and co.
but i overslept.. and was kinda of lazy.. =p
sorry guys..
went home around 4pm..
slack around, did my stuffs..
met up with baby again ard 8pm..
bought food over to baby's house..
he is making dinner for me! keke!
not as tasty as the past, but still, at least i didnt stave to death la..
baby sent me home ard 1130pm...
thats all for the past few day i guess?

faster 1st of may!
i want go shopping!
at least a new bag, and a new pair of shoes ba!
>.<
the least least least is a bag! LOL
for school use.. current bag cant even fix in a A4 paper..
and i have yet to get hold of my time-table.. this sucks!
slow slow slow la..

alright, rant more on the next post..
off for a short nap..
gotta wake up at 9am!
its already 5am nw..
4hrs left...
meiping || 4:43 AM

cant woman and man strike a balance?
there so much unfairness between this both gender..
the kind of treatments, comments and the way they behave..
will the day comes one day when both parties treatment will be fair?
i doubt so... this issues has been going on for quite long..
but never able to strike a balance... haha..
just very random thinking that pass through my mind..
nothing much in fact.. hahas..

will be heading out to drink soon i guess. waiting for some hiao guys to get prepare..
style hair, choose clothes, shoes... blah blah blah.. -.-!
one word - SLOW!
hahas..

suddenly another issue raised in my head..
money issue... so sick of it already la...
i not the breadwinner of the family yet, yet! i have to give money... =.=
sian... so fking sick of it.. =.=
spare out of this shit pls...

right person, wrong moment...
right moment, wrong person...
hahas..
what a nice joke hur...
meiping || 10:29 PM

im home from baby's hus..
didnt meet hua nor milo...
suppose to head for ben n jerry today..
jiejie came to sg today.. but i was too tired out...
didnt meet her..
><
the plan was to meet her tml..
see abt it ba...
there is always last min changes with her.. lolx..
unexpected stuffs happening..
i have grown used to it already..

was chatting on msn with meimei and she send me jolin's new song..
nt bad..
你总爱编织谎言我负责配合表演
所有改变只为了进入你的世界
这情节重复了一百遍
才发现是你的心太野
你划定楚河汉界我不能轻易犯规
所有时间都是先给了你优先权
不自觉爱到不敢冒险
成了你的傀儡一年两年
才看见我有多狼狈
爱到妥协到头来还是无解
绑着你不让你飞
历史不断重演我好累
爱到妥协也无法将故事再重写

haha...
我最笨..
meiping || 1:40 AM

Sticks and stones are hard on bones
Aimed with angry art,
Words can sting like anything
But silence breaks the heart.

Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky.

Have you ever been hurt and the place tries to heal a bit, and you just pull the scar off of it over and over again.

All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself.

We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves.

this 2 is the best
=))

Invisible tears are the hardest to wipe away.

Walking, working, barely breathing
My thoughts, far away
Heart aching, mind racing
Sleep does not come easily, nor last long....
meiping || 7:44 PM

Lets make it my 655th post!
=)
nicer no. compare to 654 post.. keke..
this blog been with me for so many yrs already..
tot i nv blog every single shit..
but still, part of my growing.. hahas..
decide to rant abt this..
include in my 'growing chart'
11th of may im starting my 1st lesson for my degree.. =)
wish me the best of lucks ppl..
one more step closer to my target...
keke.. slowly step by step...
as long as im moving, i will reach my goal one day..
no matter how long it gonna take..

life been good i guess..
ups and downs..
pros and cons..
heartbreak and heart-warmed..
happiness and despair..
haha alot alot more i guess..
i pray for a better May.. =)
hopes everything in school goes well..
hopes everyone in the pink of health..
hopes that everyone is happyy...
and i do do do miss some good old friends...
=))
gathering pls? lol..

alright... mark an end to this post...
gonna cont with my 'leave'

with loves...
meiping || 7:22 PM

weather haven been very good recently..
have to bathe at least 3-4 time a day. =.=!
dont even need to on the heater!
cold water in this kind of weather is shiok can!
dam fking shiok! hahas~
weather been freaking hot, everyone do rem to drink plenty of water!
=)
beware of heat stoke too!
life been good i guess..
not including the short of cash la.. beside that everything been good..

friends around me been good too.. =))
supportive, understanding, loving, caring and not forgetting pain in the ass!
hahas!
but no matter what i still love them as much, or even more..

thanks for standing by ur words... =)
even after those harsh words u still stand by me all these while..
and u even kept ur words..
big thanks n big hugs! keke
meiping || 3:53 AM

曾经我将无助的爱情
静静枕在你的臂弯里
以为它将为我阻挡风雨
共我面对寂寞的潮汐
可是在你宽阔温暖的胸怀里
总是听到冷冷的叹息
你那不屑说谎的眼睛
始终教我自己回避
"也许已经不是爱 只是一种坚持的情怀
也许依然还有爱 也许是慢慢生长的悲哀"
最後还是一步一步慢慢向後退
不想你的拥抱都像在赎罪
哦不想你说爱我都在惭愧.

一条漫长路经已走到这里
走下去我就不再是我自己
然而望着你的背影
究竟我有勇气几许
回头去走那无尽无止的记忆
然而分离是否就拥有我自己
因为思念不是当年没有一丝牵挂的你
寂寞也不是最初的我自己

the top 2 is from hua..
the rest is wad i found in my doc..
been quite sometime since i rants abt quote.. =)
here's some.. enjoy..

他要走了 始终是要走了
于是 我告诉自己 要狠心点
不要理他 不要回他信息 不要接他的电话
但到最后 还是很不下心来 为什么？？
明知道 最终受伤的会是自己 偏偏还要裁进去
我已经失去了理智 就只是小小的理智 也没了。。。

我们总让在乎我们的人为自己哭泣；并总为那些永远不会我们的人哭泣
旦我们在意那些永远不会为我们哭泣的人
这是在於生命中的事实；奇怪但却真实
一旦你了解，改变永远不会太迟

学会承受
有些事情需要无声无息地忘记，经过一次，就长一次智慧；有些苦痛和烦恼得要默默地承受；历链一次；就丰富一次。这个年龄不该再像小时候那样大喊大叫， 痛哭流涕。

笑容不代表真的开心
流泪不代表真的伤心

或许你我可以以表情来隐藏自己真正的感受
或许你我可以以表情来表达自己真正的感受

或许你我可以毫不在乎的忘记那真正的感受
或许你我可以毫不掩饰的表达那真正的感受

不管要选择前者还是后者
那只不过是一个人生的小过程
只要懂得选择适当的发泄通道
才会让你我有勇气的走下去
meiping || 12:24 AM

MORNING!
am wide awake since 5am..
hmmm the last time i saw before i off my lights and comp is 11.40pm!
i slept dam early.. hahas..
but i woke up at 5am.. -.-!
no disturbance.. i just suddenly woke up, with my eyes wide open..
cool hur.. lolx..
anyway, had mj session on friday night.
this time round with baby, yl and hua..
at baby's house.. had 2 round..
lost $3.40.. =((
but its alot better compared to last mth i guess..
luck is slowly coming back to my side.. keke..
after mj ended ard 5am..
slept around 630am...
woke up ard 2pm by baby...
cabbed home... and nua....
met milo and hua at my house void deck...
thankful to them for always making such an effort..
really speechless for their effort.. <3
copied my sms... head for dinner ard 9pm..
and i cancel out on the drinking session again..
im so so so sorry guys..
im really that sleepy till i didnt hear my cell ring.. =p
in short piggy? lolx
the moment i bathe and dried my hair i fell aslp!
its was so fast.. hahas..

wasnt able to web-cam with sissy..
feel kinda of unease.. >.<
maybe its has grown on me.. become part of my daily stuff?
*big hugs to sissy*

am supposed to be heading down to jurong ltr on..
but guess not going already.. >.<
womens, the ever changing is unstoppable... lolx..

guys are never serious when they say they love u, nor miss u..
only one special one special guy...
he made me feel that he's words are the truth.. nothing hidden..
the kinda of security i get when he is around...
felt so well protected...
suddenly it sound like a father kind of role. hahas..
=p
thanks for all ur times.. hahas...

alright gonna try to get back to slp..
its only 7am.. =.=!
meiping || 6:41 AM

in a flash of light...
our relationship will be walking towards the 3rd year already...
everything seems to happen only yesterday..
went through so much happiness, sorrows and despair.
and like every other couple, we quarrel and patch up..
we do shit stuff and etc...
we cried.. so so so much stuffs...
i might not remember every single stuffs that we did...
but i do remember every effort u put in...
giving in to me, hoaxing me, loving me, caring me...
scolding me... all these...
its just so hard to believe...
3 yrs......
worth?
no idea...

recently mood have been quite moderate i guess..
just a couple of hrs of mood swings, due to PMS i guess.
other than that is =) de..
am learning to take thing lighter..
not letting some idiots destroy my day!

i just found out, i need to get a need webcam!
my old one lasted me for like 4yrs? and it finally broke down..
=(
another amount to be fork out...
mean time cant webcam with sissy already.. awww!
nevermind, i will try get one asap sissy!

auntie~ i need to do some shopping!
u see this? SHOPPING! LOL~

and thanks boyboy for driving me around sg to daze.. =x
thanks to huahua for the company <3~
thanks sissy jw for making an effort to wakes up early just to play camcam with me.. =))
thanks milo for the company too!
thanks auntie for the endless nags!
lolx~

another stuff...
i really ought to learn how to say "NO"
>.<
its killing me already....
sucking my well dry..
well, everyone have to account for their own action..
and i'm paying it.. -.-!
lend er jie $$ again... -.-!!
endless well....
i gonna have a drought soon i guess..
hahas..
and thats means home 24/7!
i better stock up my maggie mee, eggs, meatballs, chocolates and drinks when i still have abit of money!
if not i gonna stave to death during the morning and afternoon when im home alone... >.<
meiping || 2:20 AM

sian 1/2!!
really turn off...
im supposed to be quite loaded this month..
nt really that loaded, i mean, should have abit of extra money to do some personal shopping!
even thought i bought baby the NDS..
coz baby, returning me the chalet money ($250), and an extra $100 coz during the chalet he spent all his cash, heng used mine..
so $350 and another maybe $100 from someone..
was thinking WA! this month maybe can do some shopping, buy shoes, bag all these..
cause school is starting, need get a bigger bag, need a new pair of slipper or shoe too..
and my jean gt a hole! need get a couple pair of jeans too..
now.... KNS! im broke..
lend er jie $200.. -.-
this sucks... dam fking sucks..
and so many people birthday are coming... =((
when i can top up my personal stuffs..
sucks!
pui!
meiping || 12:42 AM

ding ding dong ding ding dong~
everything up and down... up and down...
back and fro , back and fro..
fucking sick of it..
arghs..
nonono! cannot be like tt!
must move forward!! go go go~ must keep on going on..

hais.. i don't know already...
don't want to know so much too...
what will be will be, what will not be, will never be...
i really felt like breakdown now...
cry like there is no tml...
unfairness...
i wish this kind of mood swing can pass by soon..
moody period... =.=
but im not having my PMS why am i having such mood swing?
rain rain go away~
never come again!!
sunshine come again!!

i shall be staying home the next few day ba..
budget budget budget...
this month spent 290buck on baby's NDS and 250buck on the chalet..
not alone this two but... this two is enough to burn a dam big whole..
=((
meiping || 9:29 PM

钟晓玉 回到原点


卸妆 by 钟晓玉


歌手：罗豪 曲名：终于了解


sometime i really don't know what i want..
hahas..
its like im playing a joke on myself..
im a clown myself...
stupid clown...
=))
meiping || 4:49 PM

there are so many time in life that hw i wish i was a boy!
no restriction from parents..
dont need be home by this time, can stay out without reason..
all these kinda of shit.. =(
sometime i envy those girls whom parents allow them to go chiong, go pub, stay out late, dont go home all these..
end of the day i always have to trouble my friends to come down my area to find me..
they might nt say, but i knw its tiring.. >.<
and i feel bad too, always make them do the traveling..
when can i really get my unlimited freedom!
i turning 21 already...
this is getting bored...

*bang* *dead*
meiping || 8:48 PM

rant rant rant!



lets start with 2nd of april!

=)

1st day of chalet!

suppose to wake up at 830 and meet baby at 930 at amk hub..

but both of us overslept!

woke up at 10!!

faster prepared everything.. lucky i pack my bag the night before..

baby came over to fetch me in cab, went amk hub..

walked around looking for stuff to get for the chalet..

he bought a set of MJ tiles from the shop.. 50 buck =.=!

anyway waited for hua to come..

then met baby's fren.. he drove us down to the chalet..

fetched daddy coz the chalet is under his name..

collected the keys, put the stuff in the chalet, then we took baby's fren cab out..

went for lunch... then went tampines to fetch laoeh..

went to sheng song..

shopping for the bbq! spent around 250 bucks.

went back to the chalet.. had a short rest.. there we go!

MJ starts! >.<

kept playing and playing, milo and fish came half way, then xiaoling and tiantian came too, cont with the MJ!

we just kept playing MJ non-stop!

finally my sai sai xf came too!

hahas, which means MJ again!! zzzz

nv seems to be able to leave the mj table..

had so many round of mj till i lost count of the winning and lost.. lolx..

didnt slp at all.. mj till the sun rise~

count MJ when laoeh wakes up.. =.=! see its all about mj and mj and mj!

oh they had a mini bbq on the 1st night.. =))

3rd april!

baby's bday!! =))

keke!

this the 2nd yr tt im celebrating baby's bday with him! <3~

lucky everything went well, didnt really flare up.. managed to keep my cool...

phew~

tiantian received news tt her fren was in hosp, hence she and xiaoling went off 1st..

around late afetrnoon managed to nap a few hrs, and im up and preparing the bbq stuff.. >.
milo and fish went off 1st coz milo had some family prob..

agnes came.. follow by alfie and co..

one by one slowly all baby's fren came..

more n more ppl.. >.< not all tt im close with.. hahas.

so we start MJ again with my co. of frens.

ling and bf came too.. keke!

mj time~~

baby was busy hosting his guest, and im busy too!

busy playing mj with my frends. lolx.

baby and co. did the bbq~ didn really eat much.. but still nt bad.. =))

before the clock strike 12, they sang bday song and baby cut the cake..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANTONIO BABY! =))

bought a white NDS for baby.. lucky he likes it...

it would be bday present + 3rd ann present * if we ever makes it thru the 3rd ann* =p

after the bbq, we had MJ again.. =.=!

by the time baby's fren has all left for home..

we took turn to play MJ coz too many ka!

so i went around and pack the room..

like a maid =.=!

i seriously felt like a maid.. =.=!!!

nvm... everyone happy , most imt is baby happy can already! =)

play MJ till the morning.. xf and hua went for a short nap before checking out..

baby, laoeh and me cont.. we played daidee, loser drink coke..

omg i guess i drank a whole bottle of coke down!! >.<

WHITE FLAG nor!!

laoeh went for a nap after the daidee..

pack up the place.. threw the rubbish out..

finally its done, and there end our 3d2n chalet..

check out and took a cab back to baby's home..

str KO!

till around 7pm++

baby order pizzahut...

aftermaths was SCV all the way..

3am plus went home to bath, change and put my bag..

went down to BQ..

met up with my usual co.

drink drank sleep this time.. lolx..

too tired, fell aslp.. =p

woke up and boy send me back to baby's house..



thats all that i remember.. =)

hope i didnt let lose any stuffs..



=)



thanks for the company... =))


meiping || 6:36 PM

changing changing...
its changing...
can u feel it?
i felt it coming.....
one fine day , kaboom... everything gonna explode....
hahahaha...
one fine day.....

dusk has fallen..
one day i will fall too..
and i will be like the sunrise..
be strong again and stand up on my own feet..
meiping || 1:17 AM

im back from malaysia. =)

sat morning took mini bus back to malaysia..

miss xiaogua sooo much! =)

sunday morning went for tomb sweeping..

time flies... so fast it has already been almost 7months already...

=/

took the mini bus back to sg in the afternoon...



monday slept through the whole day...

not really those kind of nice long sleep..

so much disturbance during the sleep!

didnt want to wake up at 1st.. but my stomach was calling out for food..

>
bought roti prata , not nice! >
waste of money... =((



so much i wanna rant so much i wan say..

but no words is able to express what im feeling right now...

speechless, wordless....



im not looking forward to 2nd of april at all..

not at all looking forward for it.......


meiping || 11:17 PM

just had a nice hot bathe! =)
stayed home for the past few days..
im a daddy girl okay! lalalala~
didn't stay out late for the past 1 week, promised daddy! >tuesday had the sudden urge of not staying at home!
so i bathe and prepare myself, grab my clothes and out i went!
in record time i guess. hahas!
met xf and hua at bishan mrt.
took mrt down to woodland, went laoeh hus for MJ!
baby came over to join us after work...
really OMFG sia.. March doesn't seems like a good month for me to gamble!
every MJ session i can lost till totally no chip left tt kind of stuff..
=.=!
after MJ, xf treated us to breakfast~ big winner!!!
cab back to baby house...
slack at his house for the whole day, had pizzahut for dinner once again.. =.=!
cab home, after 15min went out to meet hua and baby again.. lolx..
ji power yi xia xia sia~

RANTING! - no comments needed - =))
just read and understand ba...
after all, only close friends know this blog...
i know u guys cares and will comment..
but maybe not now ba... just feel like ranting, and ranting..
endless ranting...

Hmmmm... Nowaday don't know which wind the sky is blowing..
friends around me are like talking about settling down stuff..
especially this month, not only once and twice that friends are asking me stuffs like, 'eh u and him so long when marry?' or ' wah, u two so gd tgt for so long le'
all these kind of stuffs. =.=!
whenever i hear these kind of comments i will sian 1/2..
don't why, in fact i should be happy about it..
but no, im not... no idea why...
to me, i have never thought of settling down at this age, at least not so young...
at least i must finish my degree and get a job first..
before settle down this kind of thing cross my mind..
seriously, not now ba....
maybe a couple of years more...
but i have a strong feeling, maybe even after a couple of years, settle down will not cross my mind...
doesn't have any faith in marriage stuff... =.=!
marriage is like a death cert! =P
keke~

*edited* =))
recently, i have been going to sleep by staring at pictures...
some pictures which bring back so much memories...
i actually made a slide show, and kept repeating it, letting it play again and again till i fall asleep..
each picture portray a special memory to me..
and i kept thinking, will i have the chance to go through it once again...
will i? once picture for sure... will never be able to happen again...
imu popo~ missing u so much........
praying for a ray of light to shine through my life... guiding me the right path... =))

edited , 3rd time.. hahas...
do i seriously have so so so much to rant?
goodness sia..
recently, i have also been pondering about another stuff..
why am i such a dumbass?
always choosing to believe in wrong people..
why am i such a idiot?
always choosing to put myself so deep in everything i do?
why am i such a fool?
always letting myself get hurt?
why am i such a pain in the ass?
always letting people whom cares and love me to get worried and tear for me?
why am i such a bad person?
always the middle person to every conflict or the person who cause a conflict?
in life there are soo soo soo many WHY...
but not everyone manage to find out the answer after WHY...
will i be able to find out my answers for my WHY?

i never really thoughts about these qns until u came by again...
are u still worth my trust?
u were the one whom taught me the reality of this world..
that no one can be trusted 101%...
u were the first person whom betray me.....
the first person whom hurt me among friends, u hurt me more then my first love....
after so many years, u kept coming back, but i found out i can no longer trust u like before already......
everytime u sms me, asking me out, i no longer pin for the time to come.
i longer have the feeling that i can share every thing with u...
its like u are just a friend, just a very normal friend..
i don't set my old blog title for nothing...
' nothing will be the same again '

"Every single one of us is a monster. We're insensitive and selfish. Nobody is perfect. But to maintain any sort of sanity we hold on to things that make us feel worthy of life, worthy of happiness, worthy of anything. All of us do this."
meiping || 12:52 AM

i starting to feel i am not a normal human already.
-.-!
i am able to stay awake for 2 whole day even though i am on medication which will cause sleepiness!
totally no feeling of sleepy...
this don't feel normal to me.. lolx.
i need need need to get my normal sleeping hours back~
seems like it has long ran away from me....
far far away in neverland..

its like finally, sun shines after the rain..
rainbows.. =)
starting to feel the clear blue sky already...
bits by bits the grey misty cloud is disappearing..
its a good thing.. lessen a burden, tts one step closer to success..
wish me the best of luck!
i will keep in mind what u said that day 'always here, always there'..
the same goes for u, ' always there, always here '

and goodness, i overdosed my cough medic.
i should consume 10ml, but one gulp down i drink 25ml!
LOL!
and im still not feeling sleepy yet.. goodness...
turning in for the night..
im not sleepy, but my body need the sleep... =)
cia0s....
meiping || 1:33 AM

im sick.. =(
don't like the feeling of being sick and weak..
felt like i was a kid, defend wall are all brought down..
i was so sick that i cried..
i yearn so much for my parents care and concern.
but i got none..
i cried myself to sleep, woke myself up with tears and cried myself to sleep again.
anyway went to the doc yst.
throat infection + slight flu.
everything is okay, lucky there is no fever..
but but but, after i have seen the doc, took the medic,
i felt feverish all over my body. -.-!
reached home and KO.
woke up in the morning at 7am!
is bloody hell de early sia. lolx.
anyway, met baby for breakfast.
and met milo n co at ssdc.
didnt want to go home..

被压得喘不过气。。
有点快要窒息的感觉。。
好烦啊！
好讨厌这样的我，讨厌这样的家，讨厌这样的感觉。
厌倦要带着微笑面具的每一天。
好像找个没有人的地方，好好的静一静。。
累了。。。
有时候真的想痛快的哭。
像小时候，像个娃娃。。。就是哭。。。不停的哭。。。

nothing is forever..
don't promise give me anymore promises.
all i get in return is not the promises being kept,
but instead the promises being destroy...
family is like that,
so is boyfriend and friends..
stuck thumb LANLAN liao..
meiping || 11:38 PM

missed so many days of blogging already.. >.<

as usual can't really remember all the stuffs that i did.

i remembered sat hua hua went JB with me.

met up with ahpa, ahma, er jie and xiaogua!

<3~

hua's the only friend so far that met them. hahas. honored ba!

once in a blue moon chance~

anyway, we roam around JB. ate ate lunch and dinner there.

JAM JAM JAM! thats wad i rem! lolx.

after we came back from JB, went back bishan.

met up with ling.

no feeling of home....

hence we had majong~

lost lost lost~ =(

after mj went home..

str KO!

was sleeping for almost the whole day.. lolx.

woke up for dinner and i went back for sleep again~



monday,

baby took off on monday..

supposed to go down PS to pay for my school fee..

but overslept! raining~ nicer weather ya..

cab over to baby's house.

was watching scv most of the time.

had pizzahut for dinner..

back to scv again...

home sweet home around 12.



tuesday,

plan was to wake up ard 9, meet baby at 10.

lobang his cab down town..

but i overslept! >.
finally woke up around 12.

keke. nua on bed..

around 1 bathe and cab down to PS.

met hua~

finally made payment for my school fee...

had long john for lunch..

took mrt down to woodland.

met up with milo and fish.

cab over to laoeh's house.

played majong again..

once again, lost lost lost...

one word.. 忍!

cab back home before 12..

promised daddy to be a good girl..

no ton-ing of night this week!





slowly, bits by bits, changing my sleeping time...

improving i guess...

at least its not 7am in the morning.

cutting down on sleeping pills..

cutting down on medication intakes.

beside that im also cutting down on cigt...

mentally prepared for the deal...... =)

*jiayou*



i seriously want to settle down, set my heart..

focus and study...

im not studying only for myself, but also for my family...

no more playing a fool around in school..

this time round its just me....

i need to tame down...

no more endless drinking night..

no more endless ton-ing night..



* throat nt feeling too well *
meiping || 1:01 AM

went IT show yesterday.
waited for baby to finish work around 6pm.
bathed and cab down to suntec to meet baby.
met up with milo and fish for awhile.
aftermath saw tian tian and co.
waited for hua to come.
walked around 4th floor, coz baby intend to get a new laptop.
aftermath went 6th floor.
bought 1T hdd for $159.90.
had dinner at tony roma. wonder if i get the spelling right.
anyway, cab back to bishan, met xuefen.
played majong till morning wee.
went home around 12pm.
hmmm.. met up with hua and xf again.
had dinner, met up with yl and yanfen.
sit sit chat chat.
left for arcade.
argh. bloody piece of shit nor. Bishan arcade crews have no manner at all. ARGH!
pekcek arr~ knn! pui her!
anyway, went bishanpark to find boy and co.
sit sit chat chat again.
=)

cant wait to see xiaogua tml! =)
<3~
meiping || 3:00 AM

had a fun night last night.
met boy, bb n bb's bf after their drinking session.
im good! i didnt join them for the drinking.
joined them for supper.
after supper all of use went over to boy's hus to rest.
awww~ fun chasing guys off bed! LOL!
ps - bb is sooo nice to hug! knew her for soo many yr, but this the first time i hug her to bed~ *shy* but love love love it! the sense of security! LOL! so dam nice to hug! even nicer then my baobao~ keke~
kinda of addicted to it already. this morning when she woke up, i was acting pestering her to take off and let me hug~ LOL!
anyway, bb and bf left for work early in the morning.
followed by boy.
had a hearty breakfast at his house. <3 his maid!
next time if i get a maid i wanna get one tt cooks like his maid sia!
omg nice nice! <3~
aftermath cab home to bath and change.
bought lunch for baby.
met hua for sushi at bishan j8.
walk around j8 after hua went for work.
-.-
hate it.. boring...
somehow i have the urge to grab his psp and throw it into the bin!
argh! never keep his words de! fk him!
he took 54 to send me home before heading down to meet with xiaoling.
going drinking. sai him!
didnt go straight home..
went to the nearby park and playground. sat there for an hour before heading home...
ask i listen to the songs playing in the background tears well up my eyes, and before i know it, it was flowing.. ><
went home after i had cooled down..
and best sia! War World 3 at home...
all i hear is nag nag nag , scold scold scold.
no peace at all.. where in the world am i able to find peacefulness?
sigh

why do human always chooses path that hurt them the most.
why do human have the courage to brave through that path, instead of letting it go.
why do tear wells up so easily whenever im with him?
if only u could read my mind... to see the hurts i get from u..

argh~
im just so not myself when it comes to relationship stuff~
why why why~
why like tt?
why so serious?
><
other than relationship im able to make most of my choice firmly and hold on to it.
but when it comes to relationship i feel that im on a sampan boat, shaking endlessly from left to right, right to left..
am i really that weak?
why am i so weak~
sigh...

*bang wall*
*dead*

Strength is nothing more then how you hide the pain

I`m not gonna to write you a poem or tell you
how much i miss you because words can mean
nothing. But when you see the tears streaming
down my face, hopefully you`ll understand.

You'll never know how strong you are
Until being strong in the only choice you have.

This is the way I see it Good friends
offer to help in a crisis. Great friends
don't take no for an answer.

There's a huge difference between giving up
and letting go Giving up is sacrificing what
was rightfully yours, and letting go is forgetting what never was.

I've learned you can never expect anything from anyone, no matter who it is. the second you expect something from someone, you're setting yourself up for heartbreak.

With friendship it doesn't matter how long
you've known each other, or how many fights
you got into. what matters is who said "i'll be
there for you" and who proved it.

meiping || 10:06 PM

Love today weather! =)
woke up around 9am, but laze on the bed for hours.
awww~ love the feeling of hiding under my cosy blanket~
nicenice!
met hua for late lunch ( early dinner )
aftermath she went for work while i roam around j8 while waiting for god papa.
he came to fetch me down hougang. BB and ada was there already.
settled some stuffs and god papa drove me home!
im really starting the avoiding plot..
arghs!
anyway met baby and hua for late dinner ( early supper )

side note, i just found out that i dropped my earring!
its not just one side, is both side of my earring.
argh! why am i so careless sia. wtf..
its not just the price of the earring but also the meaning behind it. >.<
couldn't find it anywhere. ARHG!
*bang wall*

why am i so shaky on my decision..
hais...
i know if i really choose him over baby. i will have regret.
but i dont knw what the regret will but.. just a 6th sense.
maybe i'm just too softhearted.. too easily touched..
99.9% of the guys treats girls like princess during courtship.
* stay firm! *
meiping || 12:39 AM

ended up im blogging here..
so much stuff that i feel like blogging.
but i cant.
after all im selfish...
all my words gonna hurt people.. im so sorry..
i never mend to hurt anyone.
especially my loves one..
im a typical Gemini.
so typical...

somehow im so tired out by all the masks...
let me have a break...

why do love have to be so complicated?
why can't love be simple and sweet?
don't happiness last?
why do happiness only last for such a short period of time only.
why there are no time machine in this world?
can any genius invent one?
please please please~
argh~
there is no 'if only'....

confusion...
meiping || 9:11 AM

there is no physical distance between lover, friends and family..
the only distance is the distance in the heart..
no matter where i am, or where u are, we are close together as one..
in my heart... =)

i'm tired out.
applying official leave for this blog and myself. =)
have a break, have a kitkat..
i will be back soon...
( i hope so )

<3 all~
meiping || 9:08 AM

There are places I'll remember
All my life though some have changed.
Some forever not for better,
Some have gone and some remain.
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall.
Some are dead and some are living,
In my life I've loved them all.

Sometimes we don't see certain things
until we're ready to see them
in a certain way.

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you can appreciate them
when they're right,
you believe less so you eventually learn to trust no one
but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart
so better things can fall together.


Too often,
the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have.
Desire leaves us heartbroken,
it wears us out.
Desire can wreck your life.
But as tough as wanting something can be.
The people who suffer the most,
are those who don't know what they want.

i totally couldn't remember what i did on each day.
lol, i really have a bad memory!
pardon me...
i only remember i had steamboat.
had ktv and ktv and ktv endless!
then went drinking~
walked in the rain~
=)
so sick of those idiot, childish peoples...
childish thinking too.. =.=
its already 2009, stop talking about gangster stuff for god sakes.
it is really LMAO lo!
lolx.

not meant to be is not meant to be...
never gonna happened....
yorrs yob...
meiping || 5:24 AM

aww..
so much stuff u did for me...
im not blind.. i can see and feel all the effort u put in.
all the late night chatting, late night slacking.
and all the late night drinking..
ur company really brighten my day.
thanks so much for the time u spent on me.
thanks so much for the amount of money u spent too.
we are not an item, yet u behave like such a dear bf to me.
u dont even care about it too...
u dont seem to care about other stuffs beside me.
i really love the feeling~
the feeling of being loved care and concern..
stop pampering so much..
im scare that i will be moved by ur effort..
i cannot.... i really cannot affort that....
sorry for being unable to accept u...
sorry for being so heartless....
forgive me.... <3
meiping || 2:51 PM

confusion...





gone............................
meiping || 7:25 AM

meiping/zhonghua
16061988
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