im back from malaysia. =)

sat morning took mini bus back to malaysia..

miss xiaogua sooo much! =)

sunday morning went for tomb sweeping..

time flies... so fast it has already been almost 7months already...

=/

took the mini bus back to sg in the afternoon...



monday slept through the whole day...

not really those kind of nice long sleep..

so much disturbance during the sleep!

didnt want to wake up at 1st.. but my stomach was calling out for food..

>
bought roti prata , not nice! >
waste of money... =((



so much i wanna rant so much i wan say..

but no words is able to express what im feeling right now...

speechless, wordless....



im not looking forward to 2nd of april at all..

not at all looking forward for it.......


meiping || 11:17 PM

just had a nice hot bathe! =)
stayed home for the past few days..
im a daddy girl okay! lalalala~
didn't stay out late for the past 1 week, promised daddy! >tuesday had the sudden urge of not staying at home!
so i bathe and prepare myself, grab my clothes and out i went!
in record time i guess. hahas!
met xf and hua at bishan mrt.
took mrt down to woodland, went laoeh hus for MJ!
baby came over to join us after work...
really OMFG sia.. March doesn't seems like a good month for me to gamble!
every MJ session i can lost till totally no chip left tt kind of stuff..
=.=!
after MJ, xf treated us to breakfast~ big winner!!!
cab back to baby house...
slack at his house for the whole day, had pizzahut for dinner once again.. =.=!
cab home, after 15min went out to meet hua and baby again.. lolx..
ji power yi xia xia sia~

RANTING! - no comments needed - =))
just read and understand ba...
after all, only close friends know this blog...
i know u guys cares and will comment..
but maybe not now ba... just feel like ranting, and ranting..
endless ranting...

Hmmmm... Nowaday don't know which wind the sky is blowing..
friends around me are like talking about settling down stuff..
especially this month, not only once and twice that friends are asking me stuffs like, 'eh u and him so long when marry?' or ' wah, u two so gd tgt for so long le'
all these kind of stuffs. =.=!
whenever i hear these kind of comments i will sian 1/2..
don't why, in fact i should be happy about it..
but no, im not... no idea why...
to me, i have never thought of settling down at this age, at least not so young...
at least i must finish my degree and get a job first..
before settle down this kind of thing cross my mind..
seriously, not now ba....
maybe a couple of years more...
but i have a strong feeling, maybe even after a couple of years, settle down will not cross my mind...
doesn't have any faith in marriage stuff... =.=!
marriage is like a death cert! =P
keke~

*edited* =))
recently, i have been going to sleep by staring at pictures...
some pictures which bring back so much memories...
i actually made a slide show, and kept repeating it, letting it play again and again till i fall asleep..
each picture portray a special memory to me..
and i kept thinking, will i have the chance to go through it once again...
will i? once picture for sure... will never be able to happen again...
imu popo~ missing u so much........
praying for a ray of light to shine through my life... guiding me the right path... =))

edited , 3rd time.. hahas...
do i seriously have so so so much to rant?
goodness sia..
recently, i have also been pondering about another stuff..
why am i such a dumbass?
always choosing to believe in wrong people..
why am i such a idiot?
always choosing to put myself so deep in everything i do?
why am i such a fool?
always letting myself get hurt?
why am i such a pain in the ass?
always letting people whom cares and love me to get worried and tear for me?
why am i such a bad person?
always the middle person to every conflict or the person who cause a conflict?
in life there are soo soo soo many WHY...
but not everyone manage to find out the answer after WHY...
will i be able to find out my answers for my WHY?

i never really thoughts about these qns until u came by again...
are u still worth my trust?
u were the one whom taught me the reality of this world..
that no one can be trusted 101%...
u were the first person whom betray me.....
the first person whom hurt me among friends, u hurt me more then my first love....
after so many years, u kept coming back, but i found out i can no longer trust u like before already......
everytime u sms me, asking me out, i no longer pin for the time to come.
i longer have the feeling that i can share every thing with u...
its like u are just a friend, just a very normal friend..
i don't set my old blog title for nothing...
' nothing will be the same again '

"Every single one of us is a monster. We're insensitive and selfish. Nobody is perfect. But to maintain any sort of sanity we hold on to things that make us feel worthy of life, worthy of happiness, worthy of anything. All of us do this."
meiping || 12:52 AM

i starting to feel i am not a normal human already.
-.-!
i am able to stay awake for 2 whole day even though i am on medication which will cause sleepiness!
totally no feeling of sleepy...
this don't feel normal to me.. lolx.
i need need need to get my normal sleeping hours back~
seems like it has long ran away from me....
far far away in neverland..

its like finally, sun shines after the rain..
rainbows.. =)
starting to feel the clear blue sky already...
bits by bits the grey misty cloud is disappearing..
its a good thing.. lessen a burden, tts one step closer to success..
wish me the best of luck!
i will keep in mind what u said that day 'always here, always there'..
the same goes for u, ' always there, always here '

and goodness, i overdosed my cough medic.
i should consume 10ml, but one gulp down i drink 25ml!
LOL!
and im still not feeling sleepy yet.. goodness...
turning in for the night..
im not sleepy, but my body need the sleep... =)
cia0s....
meiping || 1:33 AM

im sick.. =(
don't like the feeling of being sick and weak..
felt like i was a kid, defend wall are all brought down..
i was so sick that i cried..
i yearn so much for my parents care and concern.
but i got none..
i cried myself to sleep, woke myself up with tears and cried myself to sleep again.
anyway went to the doc yst.
throat infection + slight flu.
everything is okay, lucky there is no fever..
but but but, after i have seen the doc, took the medic,
i felt feverish all over my body. -.-!
reached home and KO.
woke up in the morning at 7am!
is bloody hell de early sia. lolx.
anyway, met baby for breakfast.
and met milo n co at ssdc.
didnt want to go home..

被压得喘不过气。。
有点快要窒息的感觉。。
好烦啊！
好讨厌这样的我，讨厌这样的家，讨厌这样的感觉。
厌倦要带着微笑面具的每一天。
好像找个没有人的地方，好好的静一静。。
累了。。。
有时候真的想痛快的哭。
像小时候，像个娃娃。。。就是哭。。。不停的哭。。。

nothing is forever..
don't promise give me anymore promises.
all i get in return is not the promises being kept,
but instead the promises being destroy...
family is like that,
so is boyfriend and friends..
stuck thumb LANLAN liao..
meiping || 11:38 PM

missed so many days of blogging already.. >.<

as usual can't really remember all the stuffs that i did.

i remembered sat hua hua went JB with me.

met up with ahpa, ahma, er jie and xiaogua!

<3~

hua's the only friend so far that met them. hahas. honored ba!

once in a blue moon chance~

anyway, we roam around JB. ate ate lunch and dinner there.

JAM JAM JAM! thats wad i rem! lolx.

after we came back from JB, went back bishan.

met up with ling.

no feeling of home....

hence we had majong~

lost lost lost~ =(

after mj went home..

str KO!

was sleeping for almost the whole day.. lolx.

woke up for dinner and i went back for sleep again~



monday,

baby took off on monday..

supposed to go down PS to pay for my school fee..

but overslept! raining~ nicer weather ya..

cab over to baby's house.

was watching scv most of the time.

had pizzahut for dinner..

back to scv again...

home sweet home around 12.



tuesday,

plan was to wake up ard 9, meet baby at 10.

lobang his cab down town..

but i overslept! >.
finally woke up around 12.

keke. nua on bed..

around 1 bathe and cab down to PS.

met hua~

finally made payment for my school fee...

had long john for lunch..

took mrt down to woodland.

met up with milo and fish.

cab over to laoeh's house.

played majong again..

once again, lost lost lost...

one word.. 忍!

cab back home before 12..

promised daddy to be a good girl..

no ton-ing of night this week!





slowly, bits by bits, changing my sleeping time...

improving i guess...

at least its not 7am in the morning.

cutting down on sleeping pills..

cutting down on medication intakes.

beside that im also cutting down on cigt...

mentally prepared for the deal...... =)

*jiayou*



i seriously want to settle down, set my heart..

focus and study...

im not studying only for myself, but also for my family...

no more playing a fool around in school..

this time round its just me....

i need to tame down...

no more endless drinking night..

no more endless ton-ing night..



* throat nt feeling too well *
meiping || 1:01 AM

went IT show yesterday.
waited for baby to finish work around 6pm.
bathed and cab down to suntec to meet baby.
met up with milo and fish for awhile.
aftermath saw tian tian and co.
waited for hua to come.
walked around 4th floor, coz baby intend to get a new laptop.
aftermath went 6th floor.
bought 1T hdd for $159.90.
had dinner at tony roma. wonder if i get the spelling right.
anyway, cab back to bishan, met xuefen.
played majong till morning wee.
went home around 12pm.
hmmm.. met up with hua and xf again.
had dinner, met up with yl and yanfen.
sit sit chat chat.
left for arcade.
argh. bloody piece of shit nor. Bishan arcade crews have no manner at all. ARGH!
pekcek arr~ knn! pui her!
anyway, went bishanpark to find boy and co.
sit sit chat chat again.
=)

cant wait to see xiaogua tml! =)
<3~
meiping || 3:00 AM

had a fun night last night.
met boy, bb n bb's bf after their drinking session.
im good! i didnt join them for the drinking.
joined them for supper.
after supper all of use went over to boy's hus to rest.
awww~ fun chasing guys off bed! LOL!
ps - bb is sooo nice to hug! knew her for soo many yr, but this the first time i hug her to bed~ *shy* but love love love it! the sense of security! LOL! so dam nice to hug! even nicer then my baobao~ keke~
kinda of addicted to it already. this morning when she woke up, i was acting pestering her to take off and let me hug~ LOL!
anyway, bb and bf left for work early in the morning.
followed by boy.
had a hearty breakfast at his house. <3 his maid!
next time if i get a maid i wanna get one tt cooks like his maid sia!
omg nice nice! <3~
aftermath cab home to bath and change.
bought lunch for baby.
met hua for sushi at bishan j8.
walk around j8 after hua went for work.
-.-
hate it.. boring...
somehow i have the urge to grab his psp and throw it into the bin!
argh! never keep his words de! fk him!
he took 54 to send me home before heading down to meet with xiaoling.
going drinking. sai him!
didnt go straight home..
went to the nearby park and playground. sat there for an hour before heading home...
ask i listen to the songs playing in the background tears well up my eyes, and before i know it, it was flowing.. ><
went home after i had cooled down..
and best sia! War World 3 at home...
all i hear is nag nag nag , scold scold scold.
no peace at all.. where in the world am i able to find peacefulness?
sigh

why do human always chooses path that hurt them the most.
why do human have the courage to brave through that path, instead of letting it go.
why do tear wells up so easily whenever im with him?
if only u could read my mind... to see the hurts i get from u..

argh~
im just so not myself when it comes to relationship stuff~
why why why~
why like tt?
why so serious?
><
other than relationship im able to make most of my choice firmly and hold on to it.
but when it comes to relationship i feel that im on a sampan boat, shaking endlessly from left to right, right to left..
am i really that weak?
why am i so weak~
sigh...

*bang wall*
*dead*

Strength is nothing more then how you hide the pain

I`m not gonna to write you a poem or tell you
how much i miss you because words can mean
nothing. But when you see the tears streaming
down my face, hopefully you`ll understand.

You'll never know how strong you are
Until being strong in the only choice you have.

This is the way I see it Good friends
offer to help in a crisis. Great friends
don't take no for an answer.

There's a huge difference between giving up
and letting go Giving up is sacrificing what
was rightfully yours, and letting go is forgetting what never was.

I've learned you can never expect anything from anyone, no matter who it is. the second you expect something from someone, you're setting yourself up for heartbreak.

With friendship it doesn't matter how long
you've known each other, or how many fights
you got into. what matters is who said "i'll be
there for you" and who proved it.

meiping || 10:06 PM

Love today weather! =)
woke up around 9am, but laze on the bed for hours.
awww~ love the feeling of hiding under my cosy blanket~
nicenice!
met hua for late lunch ( early dinner )
aftermath she went for work while i roam around j8 while waiting for god papa.
he came to fetch me down hougang. BB and ada was there already.
settled some stuffs and god papa drove me home!
im really starting the avoiding plot..
arghs!
anyway met baby and hua for late dinner ( early supper )

side note, i just found out that i dropped my earring!
its not just one side, is both side of my earring.
argh! why am i so careless sia. wtf..
its not just the price of the earring but also the meaning behind it. >.<
couldn't find it anywhere. ARHG!
*bang wall*

why am i so shaky on my decision..
hais...
i know if i really choose him over baby. i will have regret.
but i dont knw what the regret will but.. just a 6th sense.
maybe i'm just too softhearted.. too easily touched..
99.9% of the guys treats girls like princess during courtship.
* stay firm! *
meiping || 12:39 AM

ended up im blogging here..
so much stuff that i feel like blogging.
but i cant.
after all im selfish...
all my words gonna hurt people.. im so sorry..
i never mend to hurt anyone.
especially my loves one..
im a typical Gemini.
so typical...

somehow im so tired out by all the masks...
let me have a break...

why do love have to be so complicated?
why can't love be simple and sweet?
don't happiness last?
why do happiness only last for such a short period of time only.
why there are no time machine in this world?
can any genius invent one?
please please please~
argh~
there is no 'if only'....

confusion...
meiping || 9:11 AM

there is no physical distance between lover, friends and family..
the only distance is the distance in the heart..
no matter where i am, or where u are, we are close together as one..
in my heart... =)

i'm tired out.
applying official leave for this blog and myself. =)
have a break, have a kitkat..
i will be back soon...
( i hope so )

<3 all~
meiping || 9:08 AM

There are places I'll remember
All my life though some have changed.
Some forever not for better,
Some have gone and some remain.
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall.
Some are dead and some are living,
In my life I've loved them all.

Sometimes we don't see certain things
until we're ready to see them
in a certain way.

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you can appreciate them
when they're right,
you believe less so you eventually learn to trust no one
but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart
so better things can fall together.


Too often,
the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have.
Desire leaves us heartbroken,
it wears us out.
Desire can wreck your life.
But as tough as wanting something can be.
The people who suffer the most,
are those who don't know what they want.

i totally couldn't remember what i did on each day.
lol, i really have a bad memory!
pardon me...
i only remember i had steamboat.
had ktv and ktv and ktv endless!
then went drinking~
walked in the rain~
=)
so sick of those idiot, childish peoples...
childish thinking too.. =.=
its already 2009, stop talking about gangster stuff for god sakes.
it is really LMAO lo!
lolx.

not meant to be is not meant to be...
never gonna happened....
yorrs yob...
meiping || 5:24 AM

aww..
so much stuff u did for me...
im not blind.. i can see and feel all the effort u put in.
all the late night chatting, late night slacking.
and all the late night drinking..
ur company really brighten my day.
thanks so much for the time u spent on me.
thanks so much for the amount of money u spent too.
we are not an item, yet u behave like such a dear bf to me.
u dont even care about it too...
u dont seem to care about other stuffs beside me.
i really love the feeling~
the feeling of being loved care and concern..
stop pampering so much..
im scare that i will be moved by ur effort..
i cannot.... i really cannot affort that....
sorry for being unable to accept u...
sorry for being so heartless....
forgive me.... <3
meiping || 2:51 PM

confusion...





gone............................
meiping || 7:25 AM

True friends,
true hearts.
That's all you really need in life.

<3 KJMHAJXYK
the love of my life....KJMHAJXYK..
never wanting to be parted from them...
any single of them....
i wanna be selfish, keep them in my life till my last heart beat...
my love, my life...
no matter how bad they treats me, how much they hurt me...
no matter how deep they love, care and concern for me..
i want them be by my side.. and i want to be by their side..
=)

boy,
thanks for the stuff u did. =)
thanks for the effort u put in..
thanks for ur care, love and concern..
thanks boy, for being my friend...
always there, always here..
i will remember it in my heart..

for u, for me, for everyone.. =)
u knw who u r...

She's finally accepted the changes
& realizing nothing
can be the same anymore
but she's keeping her strength up
& she's willing to
try her best to never look back.

Love hurts. Boys lie.
Friends cry. People die.
Parents yell. You always try.
You're never good enough,
And you don't know why.

Smile.
Let everyone know that today
you're a lot stronger than
you were yesterday.

She says she's fine, but shes going insane.
She says she feels good, but she's in a lot of pain.
She says its nothing, but its really a lot.
She says she's okay, but really she's not.

she has those SiLlY qUoTeS in her
profile that he`ll never know they
are always about him.

sometimes the things you complain about
are the things you care about most.
unfortunately, you dont always know that
before its too late.

I have learned now that while those
who speak about one's miseries usually hurt,
those who keep silent hurt more.

Sooner or later people are going to start asking questions,
and you know what happens
when people start asking questions.
we become liars.

real tears are not those that fall
from your eyes and cover your face,
but those that fall from your heart,
and cover your soul

One of the hardest moments in life is
deciding whether you should give up or try harder.
meiping || 1:06 AM

they say 隔墙有耳, but i feels that in the internet world it is, 隔blog有眼..
some stuffs just cannot be blog out truthfully.
i have so so so much stuffs that i wanted to blog out..
in fact i almost post the entry...
but...
有所保留...
hence deleted it..

intend to go ice-skating today with baby n co.
but end up the place was close..
therefore went bowling..
aftermath had dinner at yishun..
slack around yishun till 11pm.
baby sent me home...
thanks for the company once again... =)

just a phone call and 10 over missed calls, right away everything changed...
not blaming u..but still, thanks for the effort..

i'm tired... not physically, but mentally and emotionally...
how i hope it would rather be physical tiredness.
just plenty of sleep and everything will be back to normal...

need a night alone...
ps - i'm alright...

*edited*
一刻心哺嗵哺嗵的跳.
哺嗵哺嗵哺嗵...不停的跳...
心也不停不停的在痛...
痛的当而心也感到酸柳柳和甜丝丝的..
不同人的陪伴不同的感觉..
meiping || 1:12 AM

一个人撑伞，一个人擦泪，一个人好累。。

愚笨的人，说想说的话；聪明的人，说该说的话。。

永远不需要向任何人解释你自己
因为喜欢你的人不需要
而不喜欢你的人不会相信

别让某人成为你生命中的优先
当你是使他们生命中的一个选择时
人与人之间的关系旨在彼此达到平衡时；运作的最恰当。

我们总让在乎我们的人为自己哭泣；并总为那些永远不会我们的人哭泣
旦我们在意那些永远不会为我们哭泣的人
这是在於生命中的事实；奇怪但却真实
一旦你了解，改变永远不会太迟。

别在喜悦时许下承诺
别在忧伤时作出回答
别在愤怒时下决定
三思而后行，做出贤智的行为

STM i forgot what i did.
but, i wanna thanks hua and milo... =)
i am more of a words people.
more of a blog people,
more of a sms people,
but i do still says out when times come.
anyway, this wont be easy saying out face to face.
coz i knw i can make the whole room crys with me again..
once i trigger it , hard to stop the tap. lolx.
so here pin it down easier for all of us.
谢谢！=）
meiping || 2:01 AM

it has almost been 6mth already...
6mth, time flies, so fast its already 6mth.
6mth ago, the last time i saw u.
6mth ago, the last time i hug and kiss u.
6mth ago, the last time i heard ur voice.
6mth ago, the last time i feel u.
6mth ago, the last time i said i love u to u.
6mth ago, the last time u said u love me.
6mth ago, the last time u sayang me.
6mth ago, the last time i heard ur nag.
6mth ago.....
6mth ago..... 6mth ago......
they say time will heals the wound..
time will let everything fade..
but its nt fading at all, its nt healing at all...
why am i still wetting my pillow every time i think about u.
why am i still shedding tears..
i hate the feeling of being so weak...
hw many 6mth will i have to go thru to really heal the wound.
all i can do now is to stare at the photos....
photos are all im left with.....
but why am i so stupid to trust such imt hdd to others.
now im left with nothing.........
not even photos...
i hate myself....
why am i always trusting the wrong person...
why am i so stupid.....

-long lonely night-
meiping || 2:31 AM

Belated happy Vday to everyone. =)
hope everyone enjoyed their vday, be it being with their bf/gf or friends.
for what i know, not everyone was having a very happy vday.
doesn't have the right atmosphere and feeling..
anyway, vday afternoon met up with milo, hua and xiaoyun.
had dinner at KSL, xy was craving for the famous chicken rice.
ron join us after lunch..
chit chat abit and off he went to meet his wife-to-be.
the rest of roam around j8...
><
sit sat sit sat~ chit chat chit chat~
baby came to find us.
xiaoyun n milo went off earlier..
went down to pub to find kelly and co.
baby open a bottle for us to drink. =)
keke! save $$~
went back to baby's hus ard 2am...
zzzZZZzzz~

hmmm.. woke up around 12pm...
had lunch before baby sent me home..
took a long afternoon nap..
woke up with house full of peoples..
*noisy*
prepare and cab down to find hua.
help her do a bit of doc. ><
mistakes here n there. ><
had supper with baby.
and he sent me home..

have a follow up check up next week.
am finishing the medication soon. =)
i finished my sleeping pills already. ><

am feeling so emotional these few weeks..
someone pls do crazy stuff with me.
bring my mood to the highest peck~ XD
lets have fun!
if not lets go drinking!!!
drink drank drunk~ MUHAHAS!
meiping || 3:25 AM

=)
我来也！update update 一下！
其实也没有什么好update的啦。。。
只是刚好在网上看到了一些句话，所以想把它记录下来。
我们一起分享吧！

有些事，我们明知道是错的，也要去坚持，因为不甘心；有些人，我们明知道是爱的，也要去放弃，因为没结局；有时候，我们明知道没路了，却还在前行，因为习惯了。

那些已经犯过的错误，有一些是因为来不及，有一些是因为刻意躲避，更多的时候是茫然地站到了一边。我们就这样错了一次又一次，却从不晓得从中汲取教训，做一些反省。

你不知道我在想你，是因为你不爱我，我明明知道你不想我，却还爱你，是因为我太傻。也许有时候，逃避不是因为害怕去面对什么，而是在等待什么。

如果背叛是一种勇气，那么接受背叛则需要一种更大的勇气。前者只需要有足够的勇敢就可以，又或许只是一时冲动，而后者考验的却是宽容的程度，绝非冲动那么简单，需要的唯有时间。

人最大的困难是认识自己，最容易的也是认识自己。很多时候，我们认不清自己，只因为我们把自己放在了一个错误的位置，给了自己一个错觉。所以，不怕前路坎坷，只怕从一开始就走错了方向。

真正的好朋友，并不是在一起就有聊不完的话题，而是在一起　就算不说话，也不会感到尴尬.

在那

微微细雨的

夜晚

复杂的思绪

让我辗转难眠

是你们用

关怀的
话语
细细的
传到我耳里
这温柔的
对待
满满的包围
着我
让我好感动
也

好幸福

感谢你们的好


暂时就那么多吧！
meiping || 2:15 AM

mi corazón se desgarre ...

sissy jiewei, miss u much much...
i really do, hw i wish i can fly straight to NY to find u.
cuddle myself into ur warm arms.
and feel that im still loved.
i seriously need u now, my soul mate....
i might sound abit crazy, but i miss u scolding me.
i miss crying in on ur shoulder..
i just miss everything about u...
sighs..
if only u were him....
if only he would listen to me like u do...
understand me and love me...
sigh... =/

i must be the stupidest girl in the world.
cling on to such a relationship.
letting it hurt me so much...
i wish there is such a potion that could make ones forget everything...
every painful memories...

So how can you expect me to just close my eyes and forget your mistakes? Defending you gets harder every day.

Because for me, it’s always been you … always. And I’ve tried to fight it and I’ve tried to deny it, but I can’t – you’re undeniable. ~

What kills me is to know that I’m wasting my time … and yet still can’t let go.

We're just holding on to nothing to see how long nothing lasts.
meiping || 1:09 AM

meiping/zhonghua
16061988
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