*test test*
log on to the net using my cell, wonder does it works for blogger..
having some trouble blogging, seriously so hard to blog using cell man..
wonder how those people blog using their phone.. =x
anyway, am waiting for the mini bus right now! yawn~ haven sleep a wink since last night till now..
i hope i will be able to sleep during the ride..
sneaked out earlier for a puff before my parents, and i saw a shooting star!
aint the first time, however it was the first time i made a wish to it..
wishing, wishes, wished! sound kinda of childish huh?
but who cares~ i hope it comes true soon.. seems like im left with not much faith and hope already..
i just wish all unhappy event will come to an end.. and i seriously start to dislike rainy days too..
it makes me feel so weak and always affect my emotions without fail! even tot i like to sleep in during rainy days la, but it makes me feel sooooooo lazy too.. haha..
humans, they never stop growing and learning, there is new stuffs everyday..
new emotions, events, experiences blah blah blah so on so on...
hence i learnt and experienced so much events mentally and emotionally that made me realise that im so much weaker then i tot...
the heavy lot of truth and burden is crashing me!
if only, there is so many if only in our life.. if only there is no if only? haha.. wad the hell am i talking about man!
skinned knees cap are so much better compared to skinned soul...
i wonder how many time can our soul and heart can be skinned and hurt?
it there a limit to all these unhappiness? or is it just like a darkhole.. endless......
well, people say u will get over it as time goes by.. or wad bullshit like new memories will replaces the old ones..
i find all these just bullshit.. at least to me it dont work this way!
scars and wounds may heal over the time, however it will still hurts ...

future is like so vauge to me nowaday.. i have no idea what i wanna in life....
maybe i have reached yet another crossroad of my life......
hmm why worry so much........ take a step at a time i guess.......

alright the mini bus is here already.. shall post it next time~ ciaos~
meiping || 5:13 AM

Halo~
Weather been kinda of crazy.. one moment u see the sun, the next moment u get heavy down pour..
How are one gonna stay healthy and strong in these weather man.. -.-!
Pray that i will not get sick.. =)
Life been boring... Dull.... Plain.... Blank... Empty....
Hahah.. Seriously, dam bored!
School been supar, 2 module for this term, so most of the week only have like 2 lesson per week!
But assignment aint easy, heard from friend that the law teacher have very hard expectation..
Lets hope i will be able to meet his expectation.. haha..
Down on my luck too!
Been losing ever since CNY.. sad case huh...
Be it mahjong, poker or soccer.. -.-!!!
How can! Its only March, more mahjong session to come..
Lady luck pls come back to my side soon k~~ =))

This weather is making me soooooooooo sleeppyyyyyy!
meiping || 8:01 PM

人真的好奇怪! 真不懂大脑里装的是什么..
对一个人好真的不需要理由的吗?
真的有那样傻的人?
搞不懂吔!

i guess this world does really conside of many different kind of peoples.
am sure, there is plenty more to come too!
well, lets take for examples, u are my good friend, u keep me company, go out shopping with me, listen to my craps hence naturally i will want to be good to that friend.
however there is also peoples, who treat others so badly, coldly yet the other person still pester , okay many not pester, erm, still willing to stick by.
i have to agree to such a huge extend that i cant possibly tell u how big that extend is.
meiping || 2:27 AM

Hey! There been so much thoughts and thinking recently, especially when i was in malaysia.
Lots of free time to let my mind roam about, especially night time, when everyone around me is asleep... 夜深人静时... Suddenly, i realise, this is the kind of peacefulness and happiness i wants and needs.. 简简单单的幸福..
U know, the kind of having ur family squeezing in the same room, on the same bed, it might be uncomfty to sleep. However, i love this feeling! 真的好喜欢~
But in the morning somehow it gets abit pain in the ass! cause the kids will be jumping around the bed, screaming their heads off, throwing stuffs here and there..
This kind of alarm clock is really a kind of love and hate man! =)
I hope in future my own family can be like this.. 吵吵闹闹的! i don't mean those disagreement nosie la.. =p
anyway, i really managed to enjoy and relax myself back in malaysia...
going back really works... =)
i get to sleep real early, like 12am.. that is consider early for me man!
really is the kind of 早睡早起 life style.. i even got chance to have breakfast man! haha..
normally the chances that i can eat breakfast in singapore, is when i ton night dont sleep.. =p
this kind of life style made me gain 2kg! oh my gosh! 2kg nor.. lol..
but i think back in singapore this 2kg will be gone soon..
anyway, when im back in malaysia, all i do is sleep, wake up, take care of kids, gamble, eat , sleep.
totally didnt think of other stuffs.. feels so good, so stress-freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
Loveeeeees!!
however, im the only one that seems to enjoy this kind of feeling at home.. =(
papa, mama and korkor been quarreling.. =( over money issue.. sigh.. i wish i can start work soon and help aid in the family living..
is money that important? hais.. maybe i still haven really realise the importance of money ?
cause to them, me changing so much cash back home to spend is stupid.. =(
but somehow i remember when i was young, sis and aunty also spent alot on me..
buy me sweets, toys, clothes, fire crackers and stuffs just to make me smile..
that made me have such a sweet memories... thats why i wish the kids would have the same kind of feeling and memories..
and i just wanna help er jie abit.. lighten her burden abit..
but whenever i do help, i end up getting scolded =( hais..
i seriously dont knw whats the adults are thinking... i just hope they dont make thing so complex..
put things in a simpler way.......
haha..
suddenly i feel that this post is kinda of irony..
whatever it is la.. >
man has been created with no hole in its heart..
but along the way of growing up, the heart been pieced..
how many holes does ur heart have now?
at my age of 22, it seems countless already..
pieced by the hands of family members, friends and lover...
not many people are able to recover from these piecing...
and i guess im in the group that haven been able to recover..
but am still young.. i believe in future, these wounds will heal..
however scars will be unavoidable i guess?
scars acts like a kind of reminder for myself...
just like the scars on my wirst.... a kind of harsh reminder for myself.......

wow, wad a long post! thats all for now..
the rest of the thoughts are forgotten.. keke =x
so i will pin it down ago when i remember it...
meiping || 10:37 PM

当人认为自己已经改变命运时，是否有想过，是不是命运注定你会改变命运，接受另一段命运呢？

认为自己没有选择的余地，想放弃。。。放弃不是一种选择吗？

快乐可以很简单，在于要求。。。

一句对不起，不能改变什么。。一句对不起，改变不了事实。。。做错了，不要想着说对不起。。。要以行动来改变。。
meiping || 2:04 AM

Alright, i finally settled down with the Canon 500D kit 1, paid $1160 for it.
Beside that, i also got another crumpler bag, this time round 6 million.. Pretty nice and strong, should be able to last me a couple of years i guess.
Side notes, just ONE more week to term's end! Can't wait for CNY too~
Going back Malaysia on the 14th of feb, this time round only daddy and me, mom gonna stay in Singapore.. Whatever craps of excuses, can't be bothered with her anyway, i guess the kids will be happier without her around too.

Yesterday went out for steamboat with the school co.
Headed down to bugis for steamboat~ The pictures is up on my FB catch it if u want..
After steamboat, walked down to CQ with Hua, head towards to Liang Court after parting with her. Looked for anto, waited for almost 2 hours before he knocks off, such a waste of time.. =(
And at that point of time im already freaking shag already! double =(
Saw my cousin there! Damn shocked can, never expect her to be there! Will be seeing her again when im back in Malaysia..
Met up with Aaron and gf after he knocks off, caught a movie with them, dam boring can... =( x 3! Aaron sent us back home aftermath, knock out straight~
meiping || 10:20 PM

人啊~为什么都那末的犯贱?
明明有个爱的人却不要,偏偏去爱一个不爱你的人..
我也就那样的犯贱吗?
=(
真不懂! 啊!!!!!!!! 烦死了啦~

suddenly don't feel like using chinese to blog le.....
so many words dont knw their pinyin nor..
chinese getting bad to worst nor.. sian....
hais.....
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyreeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
=(

nonono no think these unhappy thing~
why make myself unhappy about it leh?
worth it? no leh.. like not worth it......
lalala~
i got other thing to make me happy..
loves the kind of care friend give me~ <3~
muack muack muack~

have a new gadget coming into my it family soon! =)
keke~ i seems to spend more money on IT stuff then what normal girls do. which is clothes, make up, shoes and bag..
sometime i wonder am i a girl? or maybe previous life im a man?! haha..
a super manly man!
actually i also like going shopping like other girls too~
but budget la! me somehow rather seems to prefer spendin money one gadgets then clothes? =x
bad girl right...... hohoho~
meiping || 2:24 AM

was on the phone with boy the other day, then we came over this special topic that left me thinking and pondering to myself.
we were chatting about friends; true, good, best whatever type of friends la.
i dont know if i have find my soul mate in my life..
the kind of friend whom i can pour everything, even the darkest secret to.
i always thought i have found the right one. but it kept changing.
one by one is leaving me..
u see this fucking cheebye jiewei, see where the fuck he is now.
so freaking far at new york! nabei! jiewei u go and die la! bullshit!!! =(
then this kristy, sigh.. maybe i should stand in her shoe and think, her life isnt about me only, afterall she is all grown up, supporting herself, kids and family.
she wont bother to put me in the 1st place like the past.
its like everyone is changing..
alright, maybe i should just freaking face the fact that everyone changes.
it is just a matter of time..
a matter of time before the other person realise how bad friend im i guess..
but sometime i wonder, i aint a good friend mah? sometime, somewhere things just got out of hands ba..
leave as u may my dearest friend, for all i know, i will still be waiting at the right spot for ur return.........
no one is able to promise another a life time company i guess.
even couple breaks up, married couple dies....
no one lives forever...
however, i just hopes thing remain this where, i dont mean everything, just maybe certain thing......
take for example this kind of special relation im having with boy..
i would trade anything for this feeling to remain the same forever. however i know it will change. just a matter of time before he gives up and look for another gal.
the friendship with hua is also as pecious compare to boy's.
as for jiewei, jiewei u freaking cheebye kia hate u ar! =p~
haha!
i just realised so many people had walked into and out of my life..
whats the use of being sociable and having lots of friends?
i rather just have a good and trustworthy ones.
sometime i scroll through my phone book, i may have like freaking almost 300 contacts,
however there is only a couple i can really call to just disturb and kill time.
weird huh? so , tell me wads the use of bein sociable?
hence i guess, when ones grows older friends get lesser i guess?
well, just some random tots. be asure im not feeling emo or sad.
just wanted to pen these tots down somewhere...
nevertheless i love all my friends~ =) HUGS!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
meiping || 12:29 AM

weeeeeee~ lets update abit!
Celebrated xmas with friends and classmates..
Experience another way of celebrating xmas, doesnt need to have lots of foods nor drink. Just nice company sitting down chatting and play games is equally fun and enjoyable!
Oh! memorable xmas too! i finally managed to hu 13 yao! finally after so long..
however ever since the 13yao i haven been winning.. is it that xie men?! if so, i better get an angbao from fairy! =( i dont want to keep losing ar.. =p
Stayed home during New Year eve.. =) slept very early too if not wrong..
had a good rest!
Night time headed over to laoeh house for mahjong!
opps like mahjong freak like that.. =x but mahjong is so much better compare to drinking. haha, save more money..
these is all i could rem. coz they are public holidays!
the rest of the days went thru like a flash.. dont really remember too.
busy busy busy.. but, have no idea what im busying with too..

anyway, i remember meeting milo for dinner at my house area.
had western food for dinner.. =( wrong order! so not worth my $7.50! CHOU CHOU de MILO!
as for today i met up with KE AI de HUAHUA and yue for late lunch..
had lunch at prata house before going j8. ^^
bought a purple color jacket~ <3~ purple~
aftermath caught a movie with them..
something about vampire de.. quite a nice show..
well thats all for now..
shall update again when i can..
loves~

KE AI de HUAHUA and CHOU CHOU de MILO!
meiping || 1:16 AM

i realised how much i had left u in my memory lane till the day i smell ur cologne once again..
it was just a normal day like every others.
till this guy board the bus and sat beside me..
the smell of ur cologne is so strong that i didnt knw it still lingers in my memories.
ohgohs. how many months and years, tears and sorrow i had spent and shed to forget u.
i thought i had. but i realise i didnt till that day.
that u has been living in the hidden place in my heart and memory.
but i realise, whenever i recall u, it doesnt hurts anymore.
everything became so sweet..
and am happy it became this way...
and just because of that cologne smell i sat with that guy till he reach his stop...
just another silly act of mine..

and maybe, this time round, it will be the same..
months and years , tears and sorrow will be use to forgo another relationship..
but this time round it seems harder, so much harder..
i dont knw if i can do it..
i seem so much braver in the past compare to now..
as i grew older, i grew weaker emotionally.
will i be able to deal with it?
not ready and prepared for it..................
meiping || 1:42 AM

weeee~ Just had a wonderful weekend!
Babies finally made their passport!! XD~ Its like after so many donkey years, okay la, in fact maybe 2 years? Cause ming is only 2 year old.. muhaha~
Spent alot on Sat, but nevertheless it was worth it!
Woke up in the morning like 8am to pack my room for babies!
Tot they will be staying over at my house for a night at first, however plan changed.. =(
After tidying the room, bathed and off i went..
Met mama, papa, er jie, the 3 notti babies and hua at Kranji Mrt.
Had our late breakfast + early lunch at the MRT before heading to the Zoo..
Sotong me! Checked the bus, however didnt check the timing and day..
So in the end split into 2 cabs, cabs to the Zoo..
Bought tickets, for 5 adults and 2 kids, cause ming is below 3 year old.. Keke..
Spent a lot of $150 on tickets already..
Walked around the Zoo, watched the animals performances.. Took the boat ride at the ending to the KidzWorld, had our dinner there, KFC~ Another 50bucks gone~ haha
After filling our tummy took the tram ride back to the enterance, and took cabs to Woodland..
Had a walk at the pasa malam, mama bought shirts for babies...
Aftermath parted with them, they took bus back JB while hua and me plan for others stuffs..
Well, it might be only a few short hours, however i enjoy myself with the company!
Was missing the babies soooooo muchie! Finally got to see them, hug them and kiss them! arghh~ Im missing them so badly right now! =(
Hopes CNY come asap! I want see them! I want see them!!
Night time went for mahjong session with hua and co.
Woots~ Tiring, but fun!
Went over to baby's house and ko straight till around 4pm.. =X
Met alfie for dinner and accompany him till he meet his family..
Home sweet home and took a nap before meeting baby for supper again.. =)
Simple but happy weekend!
BUT! My bank is so empty now.........................

I guess this would be a super long and wordy post! Ha!

I seriously dont know what i want in my life....
Everyone is planning already.. But for me, im still halfway only..
Sometimes i will tell myself, must focus, must focus, however i couldnt do it.
Cant focus is only an excuse humans create for themselve to avoid things i guess.
Nothing in this world is impossible, right now, i might say this, however i cant seems to carry out.. Well, excuses i know... But this is part of life?
Part of growing up and learning? Learn how to face and accept stuffs.. Grow up to be a better person for everyone and most importantly myself.

I was thinking, if i didnt turn good in the past, what will become of me right now?
Will i be like other teenage girls always asking daddy for money, buying this and that, spending money like water, always not going home..
Did i change for a better person? Or did i not?

What has it all become to ; What has my life become to?
LGO*
meiping || 3:26 AM

Nowaday hardly blogs.. And even if i do blog, halfway thru i will stop and close the whole IE..
Hence it result in the short posts.. I just went to check my draft and post it.. Dont blame me for all those rubbish i typed.. Haha.. I have no idea myself too..
Well.. Will be having my interview with the school tml morning.. Needa to be there at 845.. gosh.. -.-! what a timing.. The interview will last for around 10-15min.. Which means everything will finish at 915 lastest.. -.-! But, i cant go home and sleep, cause there is lesson at 1215.. Sian la..
So what should i do during this long break time.. if i go home i doubt i will attend the afternoon lesson le..

It hasnt been a good year for me.. Down on luck.. Boring...
Incomes becoming lesser and lesser already... Seriously Money Never Enough la!
I can foresee that this month i will be broke before the 3rd week..
Babies is coming to sg this coming week.. Which means all expenes will be on me..
Sian la.. Hao lai bu lai, this time lai.. -.-!
Spare me a break la...
meiping || 12:31 AM

There goes my 2 weeks of holidays! Its like i haven even start enjoy and playing yet..

Sian... Ended just like this... I miss primary and secondary school holidays.. Especially year end holidays.. almost 2 whole months so break time! awww.. How i miss those day... haha..

But i can pin for the next holidays, think is around 1 month! XD~

Ang bao ang bao~!



Hmmm......... Nowaday so broke sia... Dont know where i spent money.. =.=!

Seriously no idea.. -.-! Fly fly fly~
meiping || 2:09 AM

Hmmm.. I couldn't sleep even after tossing and turning on the bed for an hour..

Hence here im blogging.. But, i dont know what to blog also..

Holidays has started already! weee~ But, without knowing a week is gonna go by~

There goes my holidays.. Didnt do much also.. Been staying out late..

Playing mahjong and slacking! See! Really nothing much also.. -.-

Like a waste of holidays times hor.. But at least i dont need to force myself to sleep early everyday and wake up godamn know how early.. =p
meiping || 2:31 AM

Love is such a funny thing.. Its comes so fast and goes so fast... Before i can even realise it everything has changed.. How i miss those time back.. The starting is always the sweetest baby..
i miss falling asleep in ur arms.. miss the way u used to hug me.. the kind of kiss is different from the past.. everything has changed..

"Love is... giving someone the power to break your heart, but trusting her/him not to."


The times when the love was still true.. The moment it is gone, it is gone.. both u and i have no confident will we be able to find the feeling back.. or maybe i already lost the trust in u.. and u have never try to gain back my trust..



What is love..

Wish to be far away from all these shit.. I never pin for a 24/7 hour company, nor hundreds over dollars gifts. All i pin is a faithful and truthful u..

I need some peace.. Or maybe some crazy nights out drinking my heart away! Its party time i guess! Lets have some fun.. =)

meiping || 3:03 AM

Finally! After so long, my long await holidays has come...
Lets Party~ ^^
Friday played mahjong with baby and co. Won abit.. yea~~
Played till the morning wee.. Stayed over at baby's house..
Continue to sleep after waking baby for work.. Slept till 4pm.. =X
Went home after washing up.. Changed and went to meet kaisi dar!!
Had dinner with her and went for pedicure..
Baby called half way.. End up, i have to go over TPY to accompany him..
Boring boring boring!
Anyway, had a great sunday! Went over to classmate house..
It was fun! haha.. Had dinner and played cards games
meiping || 2:11 AM

Super duper TIRED ar! SHAG!
But still in the mist of waiting for my hair to dry..
short update..

Hmmm.. Am finally done with all my assignments! =) phews~
Anyway, suppose to have an exam today but i was late..
wasnt able / allow to take the paper.. crap~ there will be a retest during the next term.. Find that it was a waste of time!
Reached there around 0945 and everything ended at 1015! However the time-table states that it is 9am to 3pm!
Went out with my classmates.. 12 of us went Liang Court..
Must really thanks baby for his discounts!
aftermath had dinner.. after dinner went prawning!
cut short of everything.. lazy to type every single things that happened.
hsh at 12plus..

2 more days to 6th of nov! holidays~
hopefully i can find sometime for the babies.. =)
hope i can make a trip back.. a few day would be good enough i guess..
argh.. super shag... so tired.. but eyes aint closing.. =.=!
crap! i should meet BB instead earlier on after prawning!
=(
gonna counts the sheeps..
Nights peeps..
meiping || 2:24 AM

Hmm.. Finally got a chance to blog.. well.. not really a chance..
should say manage to catch the feeling.. =)
nowaday i keep thinking what do i want in my life..
what do i really want? the path ahead seems so blurred..
the vision seems so blur..
why am i working so hard now? rushing through all these work and stuffs..
taking in the stress and trouble..
who am i doing all these for? why am i the one doing all these?
what the hell is all these? what will i be in future..
why do human life.. why do human die?
why is there hurts and pain? why is all these happening?
why am i jealous of others? why am i so bothered?
there is still so much more... why all these qns doesnt seems to have any answer..
crap.. i hate it..
i hate feeling so uncertain about stuffs.. this is not my way of doing thing..
=(
but whatever it is... i only can conclude that this is life.....
fuck life... screw u! screw all the shits tt is happening around me.....

------------------------------------------------------

finally the long await holiday is coming.. =)
i have the intention of going back malaysia..
however.. i dont have the heart to carry it out.. ><
i dont knw whats the reason behind it too..
i just wish.. but i dont seems to be able to do it.....

sigh..........
thats all for now..
meiping || 2:21 AM

Let Me Trust You
by Dawn

Everyday I get more afraid
Of giving my heart away
Scared of what love will bring
Too nervous to hear the words you’ll say
I find myself lost in you
Not sure if I want to be
I see the looks that you give
And wonder what you see in me
I don’t want my heart broken
But I am so in love
I can’t seem to give up
A guy sent from above
So I’m gonna trust you
Please don’t let me down
For I am giving you a chance
To turn my life around
Don’t take it for granted
‘Cause it might not last long
I have weak thoughts
And my heart isn’t too strong
I’m putting my life in your hands
Now it’s all up to youI look forward to the places we go
And the things we’ll be put through
But remember that I’m vulnerable
And I can’t stand to be hurt
I want to be at the top of your list
But I don’t have to be first
Believe me when I tell you
That I love you with all my heart
That I’m here for you forever and always
Just like I was at the start.
meiping || 3:42 AM

*IMU
meiping || 2:44 AM

meiping/zhonghua
16061988
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